Sharing A Dysfunctional Heart
by Miss. L 2002
Summary: Cammie knew that she was taking on more than she can handle. Mixing work, home, family, and friends is hard. And when Zach showed up at her door, a patient in need, she suffered the consequences. Can she keep her promise to keep him alive?
1. Chapter 1

It's been a while my loves! I have taken more than 6 months, trying hard to find my inspiration for 2019. New Year, New Story, amiright? Finally, after starting, then scrapping, then re-writing, then procrastinating, I finally got ahead and pumped out this. Being my second story, I really wanted this to be more organized than "Is He Dead" (which is in progress don't come for me pleaseee) so I took my time before letting the ship leave the harbor. And I've changed multiple things about the way I write too so I might be leaving A/N a lot to explain (never in the middle of the story, most likely at the end) Anyways, thanks for reading and HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!

Chapter 1:

The sky was as gloomy as everyone felt. What did I expect? Funerals are depressing. Having to go to them is even worse.

He's dead, and we couldn't stop it. Couldn't prevent it. Hell, we don't even know who did it. All we are left to do is act helpless, be helpless. Act as if laying flowers in front of his casket does him any good. It doesn't, and as I walked up to his casket, rage burned inside me as I laid a pure white rose on top of the smooth black surface. My voice was dead as I mouthed the words "Goodbye."

Someone looked over to me, sympathy in her eyes as she whispered, "You knew him?"

I peered over my shoulder, a teardrop falling on the side of the black cardigan that stuck to me. Words couldn't describe. Tears and emotions couldn't tell the story. And when I finally got a word out, I choked on them. "I didn't know him. I loved him. I didn't get the chance to tell him one last time. And now he's gone."

Months Before:

"Dr. Morgan." Someone paged. "Do you mind helping Dr. Saran by grabbing a few pints of blood from the storage closet? He needs another pair of steady hands on his surgery."

I pushed the blue button. "Which room will he be in?" And waited for a response.

"Operation room 19."

I was about to stand up. "Also, Cecile was just processed through the emergency room with Wyatt. He's passed out and she demands to see you." I looked to Dr. Sutton, and pressed the blue button again.

"Sheri, tell her I'll have a friendly face keep her company until I can get down there and examine Wyatt." I winked at Liz as both of us stood out of our chairs and went down separate sides of the hallway.

"Dr. Saran, you had Sheri page me?"

"Yes." He walked around. "This person was a victim from the fire downtown earlier today." He pointed to the X-Ray. "There are shards of glass stuck under the lower abdomen, but I can't keep the patient stable and remove the glass."

I pulled my other glove on. "Say no more." Dr. Saran pushed the cart closer to me and began stabilizing the patient.

I lowered the light, getting a better look at the placement of the glass. "Have you numbed the site of contact?" I asked.

"You really do think I am an amateur." He laughed.

"I think you're more than that. I think you're an idiot." I shot back, hearing him stifle a laugh. I took the scalpel, and meticulously started to pull the glass out. The monitor began beeping.

"Dr. Morgan, stop trying to pull the glass out, give me a second to stabilize the patient."

I practically yelled. "There's no way we can continue stabilizing the patient and the glass will move into the lower abdomen if we don't act now." I looked down at the shard and in one swift movement I flicked it out of where it was wedged and into my hand. I let out a sigh and placed it onto the tray, listening as the monitor began beeping at a normal pace.

"You didn't learn that in medical school." Dr. Saran stood, amazed.

"Nope. I learned that eating M&M's." I winked at him and walked out.

"Where are you headed?" He called after me.

"Child ER, family emergency." I called back, running up the stairs.

I turned a colorful hall, rushing into the first door I saw.

"What happened?" I stood face to face with Liz. "Cecile, what's going on?" I held her shoulders to look at her.

She was on the verge of crying. "Wyatt was playing football with his friends one minute and the next he runs in saying he can't breathe." I rushed to the side of the bed.

Seeing that the paramedics had already put an oxygen mask on him, I said, "Liz, bring me an IV from storage."

"Got it." She rushed out.

"Aunt Cam?" He blinked his eyes open.

"Yeah baby, I'm here." I soothed, rubbing his forehead.

"Can I have a sticker?"

I let out a giggle. "Sure buddy, as soon as we test you."

His lip trembled as he asked, "Will I get a shot?"

I squatted down and whispered in his ear, "Its just a little poke."

"You said that last time." He rolled his eyes.

I pushed his hair aside and kissed his forehead. "And you were very brave last time." I looked into his brown eyes. "Now here's my deal. You get stickers and 5 pieces of candy from my office if you're a brave big boy. Deal?" He excitedly nodded his head, holding out his pinky. I linked mine into his.

"Oink oink." He started. "You pinky piggy promised Aunt Cam."

"I pinky piggy promise." I wiggled my pinky finger and smiled at him.

"Mommy, I need a hug." Cecile stopped her pacing and sat on Wyatt's bedside.

"Oh and a bear hug from Lizzie isn't enough?" Liz crept into the room with a cart full of supplies.

"Dr. Lizzie is back!" He exclaimed as Liz came in for a hug. "Too tight! Too tight!" He giggled.

"That's why they're called bear hugs." She pulled away, looking at Cecile. "Has he eaten over the past eight hours?"

"He had pancakes, and I know he had a snack at his friend's house."

"Okay, let me explain what's going to happen." I picked up the needle. "I'm gonna put this IV in him and from now we'll monitor Wyatt. We'll see if his symptoms go down or if they worsen. Worst case scenario, he spends the day here." I shrugged.

Two watches started beeping as Liz and I looked at each other.

"Well it's our lunch time." I sighed.

"Time flies when you run around a hospital for a living."

I leant in, whispering, "Do you think we'll have time for lunch?"

Liz cocked an eyebrow. "Hell yes because they don't pay me to work during my lunch break." She whispered back.

"But Liz, I'm basically his aunt, I can't leave him because of my rumbling stomach." I insisted.

"Yes you can." Cecile stood up. "Go get lunch." I raised my finger up in a failed attempt to protest. "And no you don't have a choice." She cut me off, marching to where I stood. "You are going to go get food, and then get me some food, and come back with a clear head." She shoved me out of the door.

"Love you." She called out slamming the door shut. Liz looked at me excitedly.

"Fine, where are we going?"

After what felt like hours, we finally arrived at this clean eating place that Liz has been trying to get me to go to for months. Claims that it's super healthy and that they have the best green juices on the planet.

"Liz, what's wrong with where we usually go for lunch?"

She looked at me and sighed. "Cammie, live a little! That place isn't interesting, and besides, this place is new."

I could tell that it was new from the caution tape that was in front of an unfinished sidewalk. I hope their green juices don't come with a side of concrete.

We picked a table in the back, a comfy nook surrounded by bookshelves. I'll admit, the outside was rough, but the inside was an untold beauty.

I leaned into the comfortable booth, looking to Liz. "Just order for me." I said. "I'm not really in the mood to eat right now."

"Still worried about Wyatt?" She leant over the table, realizing my answer. "Cammie its a simple soy allergy, there are much more life-threatening positions for him to be in."

"I know. But it's still unsettling for me." I flipped to the page of kids meals. "You think vegan Mac and Cheese is something Wyatt would want?"

"Nah, get him the vegan grilled cheese and tomato soup, with a side of their strawberries and honey." She said smoothly.

I looked at her confused. "Have you studied the menu?"

She just shook her head and smiled, "3 months I've been trying to get you to come here. 3 months in which I was sampling everything on the menu."

I leant over the table, challenging her. "Okay, then what should I get for Cecile?"

She raised her eyebrows, almost as to say challenge accepted. "Get her the Zucchini pasta, with the veggie sauce instead of pesto, and a medium strawberry chiller because she won't finish the large." She smirked with satisfaction.

"Alright, Liz, you win." I sighed, laughing. "So what do you recommend for me?"

"You want my honest opinion?" She cocked an eyebrow as I nodded. "A salad. You put on a few extra pounds with all that Chinese takeout." She raised the menu in front of her. I looked down. Maybe I have had too much Chinese food?

"Are you actually serious?" She clutched her stomach laughing. "You know that I'm kidding, you could eat 50 burgers and not show, meanwhile someone else does it and looks pregnant." She pushed her short blonde locks over her shoulder. "Order the turkey avocado panini with a side of their sweet potatoes fries and their hangover cure juice for later."

So I did what she said. I ordered everything just like she recommended, and I'll admit, I was wrong not to have come sooner. This place was the perfect break from it all. Work. Family. Friends. Life. And I was honestly sad when I had to leave our tiny nook.

Liz tugged my arm. "Come on, we have work." She put her leg on the edge of the booth to give her leverage.

"But Liz," I rested a hand on my stomach, "My food baby!" I whined.

"If you get up we'll stop by the gas station and I'll buy your favorite snack on me."

I leapt up and was halfway through the door when I shouted back, "Are you driving or what?"

I watched the lines tug at Cecile's mouth when she saw us walk in with bags.

"Thank you." She sighed.

"Well, you're my favorite patients' mom, it's only fair I buy you food."

"Are you staying Aunt Cam?" Wyatt asked.

I pushed his hair aside. "Auntie has to work, okay?"

"Will you come back?"

"Of course, I could never leave my piggy here." I squeezed his hand. "I'll be right back in a few hours, promise me you'll feel better by then."

He shook his head quickly. "I will Aunt Cam."

"Okay Cecile. I have a couple of rounds around the hospital, but my shift ends in like 5 hours top. If you wait I can drive you home."

"Yeah, I've got no where better to be anyways, someone is covering my shift." She shrugged. "Okay, so have Sheri page me if anything." I said and walked out the door. I looked onto my watch realizing the multiple appointments that I would be having, and I realized I would be needing that hangover cure drink way earlier than I thought.

Just a couple more words, I thought to myself, my hands flying all over the keyboard. Once I'm done I can leave. I never really realized how much I hate having to type after-visit summaries. They take time and paperwork isn't something they teach you in college.

Drained was an understatement compared to what I felt right now. Luckily today was one of more of my easier days. Liz still has 2 hours left in her shift.

I shut down my computer grabbing my light jacket and turning the lights off. I couldn't wait to get into a bed. As I ran back to the colorful hall I was in less then I few hours ago, I barely opened the door before a tiny figure pounced at me.

"Aunt Cam I've been waiting forever!" Wyatt exclaimed.

"So have I, kid." I giggled.

"So what are we waiting for?" Cecile joined in. "Get me out of here!" She pulled me to my feet and dragged me out of the hospital. I had been waiting to clock out for hours, and it was finally time to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A whoosh of cold wind flew at me, chills flying throughout my body, separating the warm and steamy atmosphere of the bathroom from the cold bedroom. My hair dripped water onto my shoulders, only making the cold sensation worse. Cecile looked at me and laughed.

"Come on, don't let me freeze." I begged.

"Oh, is the chameleon afraid of the cold?" She mocked, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Yes, dreadfully afraid of it, and I'm going to turn into a rainbow flavored popsicle if you don't get my something to wear." I cried, my legs wobbling from left to right.

She smirked at me. "Not until you say the magic word." She rested a hand on her hip.

"Please." I tried.

"Haha, nope, that magic word is only for Wyatt."

"Cecile!" I whined.

She playfully put a hand on her chin. "Not the magic word either."

"Tea." I said.

"Hmm, that'll work for tonight." She smiled, walking into her closet.

The rain heavily poured onto the windshields of cars, rhythmically pounding the pavement. I watched from the window of Cecile's bedroom, knowing that even if I wanted to, there was no way I can drive home like this.

"You need some pj's?" She set the worn pajamas on her crisp white linens.

She wore a gray oversized shirt, the words Washington State printed across her chest. And although Cecile was 5'3, the shirt was a bit short on her. Her hair was tied into one of the most effortlessly beautiful top-knots I had ever seen.

"You still wear his shirt?" I whispered, but it came out as more of a question instead of a statement.

"It's all I have left." She sighed as she helped me fold my work clothes. "I've never cared or been cared for by someone so much. It just feels like the last piece of him I have."

"I know." I felt the small elastic band, with the words "Class of '93" printed on it, on my hand as I whispered, "Me too."

Our gazes met for less than a second before she said, "No crying tonight!" She clapped her hands together, wiping her dry eyes. "I'm going to go put Wyatt to sleep, and make some tea because after all you deserve some de-stressing." She rushed out.

I sat on the edge of the bed, the cotton pajamas keeping my legs warm. I ran my hands through my hair, not noticing how much my back hurt until I rested it against the soft pillows. Not noticing how every bone in my body ached until I melted into the mattress. By the time Cecile walked in, I was out cold.

I woke up to mumbling. I blinked my eyes open, thinking that Wyatt must've woken up and Cecile was trying to put him back to bed. I tried to ignore it as I clutched the pillow tighter and pulled the soft blanket up to my shoulder.

But the mumbling started again, and I realized it was too close. I turned to see that Cecile was still in the bed, and she was the one mumbling.

For the first few minutes, I let it be, hoping she would stop eventually. I tossed to the other side hoping that she was alright and that the mumbling wasn't a bad sign.

But it was. And the mumbling just got louder. What started as mumbles turned into screams as she shot up in the bed, beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. She was panting like someone who had been chased, letting the tears stream down her face without hesitation.

She was still examining her surroundings, and I finally figured out what was going on.

She had a nightmare.

Not just any nightmare though, she was dreaming about the night he died. The way his face was cold and lifeless in her hands as she screamed for help.

And so she screamed, "I can't do this!" I stopped her from throwing the lamp next to her at the wall. She stood up, shoving the nightstand onto its side knocking everything over. I ran up to her as she banged her fist on the mirror and watched it crack. She began pushing and clawing at me, trying to get past me. I tried to pull her down but she overpowered me, running into the kitchen and grabbing a knife.

She looked at her reflection in the knife and continued crying more. "It's too hard, I can't keep living like this." I forced the knife out of her hand, horrified. I grabbed her pulling her away from the kitchen onto the couch and held her as she sobbed on my lap. "Cammie I can't raise him without his father. I just can't do-"

"Shhh," I soothed. "You're not raising him yourself. I'm here. Joe, Abby, Mom, Bex, Liz, Macey. We're all here to help raise him."

"I feel pathetic." She whispered, sniffing. "I can't protect him from a simple soy allergy. How am I supposed to raise him?"

"You're already doing a great job." I stroked her hair. "You raised a carefree child, who can laugh in the saddest of moments. Keeping a smile on that face is the best thing you can give him."

"I told Drew I wasn't ready for this. I told him that we should take our time." She sobbed. "Now he's gone, and I'm raising our kid by myself. And I wish I could go back in time and-"

"If you finish that sentence I'll kill you myself." I looked down at her. "Wyatt is one of the best things life could've given you. Don't talk about him like he's some kind of mistake."

"I just wish things were different."

"We all do." And that was the last thing we said. We spent the rest of the night staring out the window, watching the sunrise. I know that Cecile was still quietly sobbing, but we didn't talk about why. She needed a good cry.

When we saw Wyatt wipe his eyes and walk into the bathroom, we knew that both of our days had started.

"I'm gonna go make pancakes, you help Wyatt get ready for school." I stood up, pulling her to her feet and marching into the kitchen.

Okay, so I know I suggested making pancakes, but that was before it hit me that the only pancakes I can make are the freezer ones that you pop in the microwave, and I've still burnt them handfuls of times. I continued tripping over the spilt flour until I spotted bread in the pantry. I pulled the tag off and plopped it into the toaster, and brewed some coffee. I slice up a couple of strawberries from the fridge and drizzled them in honey. Then I just put a spread on the toast. As you can tell, I'm totally wife-material.

"Cammie, how are things going?" Cecile shouted from down the hall, as Wyatt emerged with a small blue towel around his waist.

"Perfect!" I shout back. Wyatt shivered next to me.

"I-it's f-freezing, A-aunt Cam." He made his lips quiver.

"You poor baby." I mocked as he ran to the small heater and huddled over it.

"Wyatt!" Cecile called. I stood there laughing as he ran as fast as his short legs could into his room.

Wyatt came back fully dressed in khaki pants and a blue button up with the top button undone and the sleeves rolled. He had the goofiest pair of sunglasses on as he wobbled into the room.

I cocked my eyebrow. "Well don't you look like a little heartbreaker?"

He simply took off his sunglasses and asked, "Where's my breakfast, woman?"

"Woman?" I said, my voice a warning.

His eyes popped out of his head as he whispered, "I mean, I'm hungry Aunt Cam." He rubbed his stomach. A giggle escaped my lips.

I set down a plate in front of him and sat next to him.

I turned to face him, brushing my hair behind my ear. "Wyatt, what's taking mommy so long?"

"She has a customer." He shoved the toast in his mouth. I rubbed his shoulder signaling him to take it easy. Cecile probably had to take a call early. Customer service waits for no one.

We continued on with breakfast, still no sign of Cecile.

"Wyatt, go grab your backpack, I'll drive you to school." I stood up and peeped my head through Cecile's door. She had her laptop on her lap and her Bluetooth in her ear. I shook my keys to let her know I was leaving. She nodded mouthing a 'thank you'.

I adjusted my rear view mirror as I saw Wyatt looking at himself.

"Kiddo, are you buckled?"

"Maybe." He smirked.

"You are just full of it today, aren't you?"

"I like spending time with Aunt Cam."

"I love you too, kid."

As we pulled up in front of the red school building, he covered his head and cozied into the seat.

"I don't think so." I declared tickling his sides. He giggled uncontrollably flipping and turning. "Now come on, get outta my car." He pushed the door open and hopped out, opening my door. He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and ran over to his friends. Let's be honest, Wyatt was perfect.

10 minutes early I clocked into work. It's a record that I made it before Liz. As I unlocked our office, and turned the lights on, I walked in knowing there was a long day ahead of me. And I'm guessing nothing interesting was about to happen, as usual.

NOTE: I do not have am updating schedule I just do it in due time, it won't be over a month but probably more than a week. Also, that A/N with extra story info will be in the comments henceforth.

Review Time:

BritishBomshell007: I LIVE TO SERVE YOU MY QUEEN! Exactly I just wanted a Doctor drama and there might be some out there but oof. I LOVE YOU BUT THE FUNERAL IS A SECRET! I WILL NOT SPILL THE BEANS BUT TRUST THAT I WONT DO YOU LIKE THAT.

GallagherGirlsEmbassyRowFan: thank you babe 3 I can't spill the secret of the funeral! And the weird thing is you're usually so good at picking apart my plots but this will be one that you aren't expecting ;) Thanks and I hope your year is going well!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The four of us stood smack dab in the middle of the chips aisle, watching Bex and Macey arguing over which bag had more in it. The looks we got from people passing by was making Liz die of laughter.

"Macey that bag is all air!" Bex exclaimed her hands swinging in all directions.

"Well yours isn't any better." Macey shot back. "Plus, I always pick the best bag of chips." She turned to us for verification but both Liz and I shook our heads, refusing to answer.

Meet Bex and Macey.

I've been friends with Bex since junior high, yeah, we go far back. I've know Macey since freshman year of college, she was my roommate, and our room was connected to Bex and Liz's dorm. And that's how the four of us were brought together.

Bex was a businesswoman, and a successful one at that. She had a stable and happy life. She was happy, even if she didn't have any romantic interest. Her bronze skin and dark curly hair hung beautifully at her shoulders most days. She didn't wear makeup because she had the face of a goddess. Pimples? Not Bex. She definitely rocked those pantsuits too.

Macey was a part-time model when she wasn't too busy working shifts at the bank and being the senator's daughter. Macey was a very demanding person. And she knows so much about relationships, and people, and clothes. Her black locks were now trimmed to just below her shoulders, still shiny as ever against her slightly pale skin, maybe even shinier than her nose ring. Macey was nothing short of designer, she was never caught wearing anything that wasn't couture. Even her freaking sweats were couture.

And yet both of these powerful women were arguing over whose bag of chips had more chips in it.

"You know what, Liz will pick a bag." I raised my voice over both of their bickering. They stared down Liz's tiny figure as she picked another bag from the shelf.

"This has the most in it." She plopped it into the cart walking past all three of us.

I looked to both of them. "How do you plan on doing each other's nails and eating chips at the same time?"

They just shrugged and walked in front of me. I pushed the cart all the way to the aisle filled with nail polish and lip glosses. The shades all started to look the same and I began to get confused. Who knew there were at least 10 different magentas? Or that Essie had 19 different bright red shades alone. Everyone quickly picked a color and we checked out.

All of us were sat on the plushy carpet of the living room floor painting each other's nails.

"Cammie don't get it on my fingers." She tugged my hand and directed it. "Use gentle strokes, it makes it look neater."

"Mace, take it easy on her. Not everyone is a nail artist." Bex butt in.

"But I have a shoot tomorrow and I can't afford any weird looks on my polish, it's going to show."

"Yeah, because people are gonna pick up a magazine and say, 'Hey, look at Macey McHenry's hands'." Liz rolled her eyes as she painted the last of Bex's toes.

"Well, some people do it." She shrugged defensively.

"So Cam," Bex leaned into her normal gossiping position. "How's Derek?"

"He's fine." I murmured.

She looked at me, almost outraged. "Fine? Just fine? Nothing more than fine?" She pressed.

"I mean, he just left his negotiations in Quebec. He told me he'd call when he made it to Monaco. That's all I've heard from him."

She cocked her eyebrow in that knowing way that I hate. She knew every single tactic there was to pulling information out of me. If this business woman thing doesn't work, she could totally be FBI. "And you're not even the slightest bit upset about it?"

I started pulling on my fingers. "He's busy, I get it. I am too. It's nothing. "

"But that's not what I asked." A cheeky smile appeared on her face as she leaned back.

I threw my fists in the air. "I'm fucking upset!" I yelled.

"Damn right you should be." Bex hopped in. "Who does he think he is?"

"You three have had too much cheap wine." Liz joked.

Bex shook her head. "It's not the wine this time Liz." She stood up, catching her balance. She would never admit it, but she was drunk-ranting. "Does he really expect Cam to play obedient girlfriend while he goes around the world, traveling and meetings for 'business reasons'? They went down this route before." She yelled.

She turned to reassure me. "Cammie he's clean, he wouldn't do that again-"

"Liz stop defending him!" Bex exclaimed, cutting her off.

"Stop contradicting him!" Liz shot back "You weren't there when things went down!"

Macey interrupted. "Both of you butt out. It's her relationship, in the end, we just gotta support her decision." Now all three of them were looking at me, trying to squeeze my decision out of me.

"He makes me happy." I finally said. "He just makes dumb decisions." I felt like I was reassuring myself more than them as I brushed it away. "Anyways, Macey, are you sure you want to give up modeling?

She sighed, almost as if she knew what she wanted to say but couldn't put it into words. "I just feel like standing in front of a camera and looking pretty isn't me achieving my full potential. I'm not just a pretty face, I have a brain too."

"Can't relate." I joked. She let out a half-hearted laugh. "But do what makes you happy. If that's modeling, then keep doing it. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone."

Before a silence could reign over, Liz murmured, "We should go clubbing next weekend."

We all stared at her in shock. Liz was and has always been a light weight. One drink and she's done for. I'm worried that glass of wine might have gotten to her head because of all people, Liz wanted to go clubbing.

"I'm sorry Liz, you mind repeating that for the hearing impaired in the back?"

"I said we should go clubbing next-"

She was interrupted by Macey and Bex dramatically fainting behind me. I let out half a laugh and stared at them gasping. They were really putting on one hell of a show.

"Alright alright." I stopped them. "Liz, you mind elaborating?"

"I'm bored with life." She shrugged. "I mean aren't you Cam? We go to work, come home drained, eat take out most nights, and sleeping in is our only idea of fun on our days off!" She exclaimed. "Don't you wanna go out, meet someone, do something?" Even though I didn't agree with her method, I know where she's coming from. Our lives are boring. We work, come home, eat reheated take out, and repeat the cycle.

"I mean, if you wanna go, I'm sure we can do something."

"How about Saturday night?" Bex suggested. "Your shifts aren't that long, I'm pretty sure I could work something out at work, and Macey has to model for 3 hours. Gives us enough time to get dressed and go."

I opened my mouth nearly asking how she knew that, but I didn't need to know. She was Bex. She knew everything.

Everyone nodded in approval and that was the last topic of girls night. I watched them disperse, all of them running into my room and hopping on my bed, leaving me to sit on the couch, pondering whether I should call Derek or not.

On one hand, I need to talk to him, hear his voice. Long distance is hard, especially if you don't talk that often.

At the same time, I don't wanna seem like a nagging girlfriend. He was a very important person, not well known by the public, but important nonetheless. He had meetings and flights and multiple days without sleep, the last thing he needed was me holding him on the phone.

In the end, I said screw it. He's my boyfriend, right? If anything I have the right to call him and talk to him.

So I sat there listening to the steady ringing of my tablet. One ring. Two rings. 3 rings. When it rang the fourth time he finally answered.

He smiled at the sight of my face. "Hey, I was just about to call you. I was afraid you might be sleeping." He said.

"I had a feeling you would land in Monaco late, I just wanted to check up."

"Yeah, our flight spent 45 minutes on the tarmac, I'm just getting to my hotel room."

"So how is Monaco?" I tried to cheer up. "Is it like you imagined?"

"Nope." He said.

"Oh really," I let out a half laugh. "And why not?"

"Because I imagined to be in this beautiful hotel room with my amazing girlfriend, but she was too busy saving lives."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You know, I have a story just like that. I got tickets to an art show, but my dorky boyfriend was too busy in Canada to come."

"Well then he probably missed out on seeing you in that beautiful red dress, with the slit that goes up to your thigh." He said, his voice lingering.

I dramatically gasped. "Oh how nauseatingly romantic."

"What can I say, I'm hopeless." He shrugged.

For a moment, there was a silence on both ends.

"I miss you." I whispered.

"I miss you too, Cam. I wish I could be there right now." He sighed, his eyes drifting to my lips.

"When do you come back?" I asked.

"After we finish in Canada, which is in 3 weeks, I've gotta be in Russia for 2 weeks. I'm sure I get a break sometime after that, but it'll be short and I'll have to be back in Russia for another month."

"But that's too long." I whined. "Who's hair am I going to play with in the meantime?" I pouted.

"Liz has the perfect curly locks that follow the hair playing guidelines."

"Yeah, but Liz bites." I laughed.

"Well, that's what you get for playing with her hair." He gave me that smartass smile that I learned to love.

He looked at the door, then back at me.

"Cam, I've gotta go, it's getting late."

I sighed. "Yeah. Call me tomorrow?"

"Sure. Have a good night."

"You too." I said, hanging up.

I pushed the tablet aside, willing myself not to cry. I was better than that. I knew that relationships aren't always as romantic as they seem in books and movies. I knew that I had to be ready for the boring days and the days we fight. But I never knew that being with someone could leave you so heartbroken. I never knew how greedy my heart is. I mean, I have Derek, but I will never completely have him. And the simple thought of it makes my heart ache.

Leave Reviews please! I literally cannot express enough how happy they make me and inspire me to write more. Literally when I wake up and see lots of reviews I can practically pump out a whole chapter. Also check the reviews for A/N's because they really expand on things, and, we're switching it up a little for the new year.

Reviews:

GallagherGirlEmbassyRowFan: thank you, Wyatt is my lil bean I swear! Yeah, basically, Cecile and Cammie are kind of in the same boat with different problems, so it brings them closer together later on in the story.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

I sat in the rays of the sun on my couch, in my gray shirt and pj shorts. I ate my cereal and scrolled on my phone, facing the aesthetic view outside of my window. I felt dramatic as hell doing it too.

It was that time in between summer and fall. When the leaves had changed colors but haven't fallen yet. When the air is crisp and cool but it's still sunny outside. That weather that makes you want to wear a sweater and booties but you have to wear a tank top just in case it got too hot. And I loved this time of year.

Today was my day off, and I loved those too.

Days off meant I got to go see Mom and Joe.

Ever since my dad died, Joe had been the closest thing I've had to a father. He was my dad's best friend, but they were more like brothers, so I called him Uncle Joe. And now he was trying to get me to call him "Super cool Stepdad Joe" but Uncle Joe just has a better ring to it.

But this Friday was special, because I heard that Aunt Abby would be flying in. And Aunt Abby rarely came home.

Aunt Abby was actually my aunt, as in my mom's sister. I didn't just call her that like I did with Joe. And she was a pilot, so like Derek, she was gone a lot too. I remember when I was a kid she used to bring me things from her different adventures. And she still did.

I hopped out of the shower covered in drips of water. I picked out a light sweater that had tiny holes and was a bit see through. I paired it with beige leggings and white sandals.

The drive out was the same as always. Quiet and scenic. I remember after I got off school dad would pick me up and we'd listen to all these old songs with the windows down and the sunroof open. How I'd be strapped up in the backseat nodding my head and waving my arms.

Now I could drive myself around. Would he be proud of me? Would he call me to make sure I made it home safely? Like most of my questions, I'll never know the answer.

I pulled up in the driveway and honked the horn twice.

Joe had totally double parked so he was first to know that I was here. "That cheeky bastard" is what Bex would say. But instead of him meeting me, Mom came out waving a hand, and parked the car correctly. We both got out at the same time.

"Where's Joe?"

She looked taken aback as she said, "No 'hey' or 'how you doing mom' or 'I missed you mom'?

Inside I was rolling my eyes. "Hey, how you doing mom? I missed you mom." I said quickly, sarcasm trailing behind. "Now where's Joe? He totally double parked on purpose." I stormed inside the house, my mom quickly running behind me.

"Joe." My mom called out. "Wherever you are, lock the door. Cammie's home."

With that I heard a door shut and I immediately rushed to it. It was locked.

I put my hands up. "Ok, fine. I'll be in my room when Joe is ready to stop double parking."

And I closed my door behind me. I gently pulled the window open leading me out of my room and into my backyard. I landed on the ground with a thud, and rushed to the master suite window. I pulled it open as quietly and unnoticeably as possible and climbed through.

You're probably thinking that I'm being extremely childish. I am. But isn't that the point of coming home? To remind you of who you were?

This is who I was. Joe used to eat my M&M's before I got home. Instead of crying about it, my dad and I would totally use our "super cool karate moves" on him. If he ate my snacks, that was another story.

"Joe." I called quietly. "Mom isn't here to protect you now." I whispered.

"She's not here to protect you either." I heard a muffled laugh. Please tell me that this grown man was not hiding in the closet.

"Well then, one of us is going to have their ass handed to them." I began to crack my knuckles because it made him cave in easier.

"Alright fine, I give." He put his hands up. "Your dad used to let you practice your WWE moves on me, I've taken enough beatings-" he began to cough, but quickly scurried to hide it.

"Joe?" I came closer. "Was that a cough I just heard?"

"N-n-no. Me? Joe Solomon? Coughing? I think not." He declared, almost as if the thought of it itself was outrageous.

"Then you won't mind me getting my equipment out of the car and checking on it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Do what you may," he raised his hands. "But I am not sick."

I pulled the thermometer out of his mouth, my mom trying to see what it said. "You have a fever." I put my stethoscope in, listening to his lungs. "And your breathing is a bit labored." I heard him sniffle as I looked up his nose with the flashlight. "A little bit of congestion, plus the sniffling, which explains the labored breathing." Finally I shined a light in his mouth. "Only a little bit of inflammation in your throat. You are sick, Joe!" I hit his chest.

"Am not!" He stuck his tongue out.

"Yeah you are! And you tried to cover it up."

"It's probably just a little bug, I'm fine."

"No you're not. You need some antibiotics, and lots of water and rest." I turned to my mom. "If his foot even touches the floor call me and I will set him straight. I'll be back."

"How's my favorite pharmacist?" I asked as I strolled through the double doors.

A small, red haired lady with a bit of an accent popped up behind the counter, worry on her face. "Uh oh, you only come here when you want something."

I gasped. "Not true! I love coming here."

"Mhm. Who's sick?"

I leaned over the counter. "Joe."

"Nice try. Solomon never gets sick."

"That's what I thought." I laughed.

"So in your expert doctor opinion, what do you think he needs?"

"Prednisone and Amoxicillin." I looked over to the shelf. "And maybe some tea and cough drops."

I walked into the smaller aisle, picking up the honey flavored cough drops. There was a soft song playing, something definitely old, but I remembered the tune and began to hum along. Mrs. Clay came out with everything in a rolled up paper bag.

"Your father used to bring you in here, and he would pay me 50 cents just to get me to play that song so the two of you could dance through the aisles." She whispered, a dreamy effect in her voice. I smiled gently.

I handed her three $20 bills "Keep the change."

She shook her head. "Cameron, this is way too much."

"Too bad I'm already leaving so you have to keep it." I said running out of the store, a smile on my face. I kept running. Since the pharmacy wasn't far, I just walked the way.

I saw a Nissan Altima with pink fuzzy dice parked in front of the house. Abby was home.

"Aunt Abby?" I called out running into the house.

"Squirt! You won't believe what happened. Joe is-" she stopped seeing the bags from the pharmacy.

"Sick? Yeah I know." I look straight at her, mocking my mothers words from earlier, "No 'hey' or 'how you doing Squirt' or 'I missed you, Squirt?'"

She just cocked an eyebrow, "You have been spending entirely too much time with your mother." She sighed. I chuckled past her and into Joe's room. He had propped himself up with some pillows and had a tissue box next to him. His laptop was in front of him.

I facepalmed myself. "Joe, you can't seriously be doing work right now."

"Joe Solomon does not take sick days off." He said with a giant air of confidence and a look on his face that made me question if he was breathing.

"Do you have to be so difficult?" Instead of a response, I was met by his continued typing.

I walked up and yanked the laptop away, handing it to Abby who was standing in the frame of the doorway.

"Now, here's your medicine. Drink up." I handed him the bag.

"Making me go through Abby for my laptop?" He scoffed. "That's a low blow, even for you mini-morgan."

I shrugged. "What can I say? You're hopeless and I'm helpless." I winked at him, and patted his leg before walking out to let him rest. I was satisfied knowing that the only work he could possibly be doing is trying to measure the roof in his head.

Hours passed by, and I checked on Joe constantly, making sure he wasn't doing work. This was the perfect excuse to get him to take a break. Finally something that Joe Solomon couldn't talk his way out of. Whether he liked it or not he was on bed rest.

"Squirt, lets go outside!" Abby ran down the hall yelling. She carried blankets and pillows over her shoulder. I just slouched further into the couch.

Dragging me by my feet, she yelled, "Come on! You only see me so often." By the time I felt my head rest, we were on the soft grass.

My mother had already gotten hot cocoa ready and Abby was fixing the blankets and pillows.

"What's all this for?"

My mom shrugged. "We're just chilling under the stars, it's nice outside."

She was right. It hadn't gotten to the point where it was terribly chilly outside yet. It was almost like the summers before I left high school. Before Aunt Abby decided that staying put "wasn't her thing". Before the house lost its charm, it's light.

But hey, it was nice to be under the stars like this anyways.

So I sprawled out across the soft blanket and got really comfortable.

"The one thing I miss about here is the stars." Abby took a deep, calming breath. "They shine the brightest in this backyard. I've never seen them so bright anywhere but here."

"Yeah." My mom joined in. "That was Matthew's point when we first moved here." She rolled her eyes. "'Imagine our baby growing up under these stars.' He would say."

Abby was quick to change the subject before it turned into a sobfest. "How is Gallagher?"

"Were getting swamped in so many new students." She sighed. "That's probably why Joe was so determined to work."

"This is nice." The air was quiet and for a moment I barely noticed that I actually said that aloud. Only a moment, because Abby and Mom were both giving me looks that made me feel like I've lost it.

"Huh?"

"Being here together, just gives me a sense of family, especially when Derek is being so confusing and busy."

"Men are the worst." My mom huffed.

I rolled my eyes. "You're with Joe. You're just trying to make me feel better."

"I said men are the worst." She smirked. "Joe is a man baby, the rules don't apply."

"Yeah well Derek is just absent. Makes me wonder if this whole relationship is worth it."

"Do you love him?" Abby asked.

"I mean, technically-"

"No Squirt, love isn't a technicality. It's not something you calculate, not another math problem for you to solve." She grabbed my hand, placing it on my heart. "When you think about Derek, all the times you've had together, does your heart beat faster? Does it skip for a moment?" I took a moment to feel my own heart beating, pumping. I listen tnodded.

"Then you love him."

I sat in silence for a moment, just letting the wind brush past me, the sensation of the chills take me over. Being outside, the air just flowing through my hair. It always helped me think.

"I love him." Abby looked at me. "I love him more than anyone I've ever met. And that's why him being away is like there is someone driving a scalpel into my heart."

"Sometimes we leave the ones we love. We usually don't do it on purpose, but life happens, and you've gotta choose whether it's worth it."

From then on I had a feeling that this conversation was slowly becoming less and less about Derek.

The rest of the night is a blur, I'm sure I drifted off a little off after. But I heard this.

"I worry about her."

Abby pattered her shoulder. "She'll be fine."

My mom pushed her hand. "No she's not. I feel like she's one loss away from snapping." She dropped her head in her hands. "Why did Matt have to die?"

And that was the last thing I heard.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

I woke up to a gentle, constant buzzing beside me. Annoyed, and frankly still sleepy, I picked up the phone.

"What?" I snapped.

"You're a horrible looking chick at this hour." He laughed.

I rolled my eyes and flipped my hair to the side, propping myself up on one elbow. "You're not funny, Derek."

"Well I knew that would wake you up."

I peered behind him. "So that's what Monaco looks like in the mornings?" He nodded. "It's beautiful."

"I see something better." He whispered with a smirk.

I tossed my head back. "Oh the cringe." I started laughing.

"It's love." He chuckled.

"Sure, it's cute." I admitted. "But oh, couldn't you have said ANYTHING else?"

"Lets change the subject!" He jumped as I burst out laughing. "How was seeing Abby last night?"

I sighed. "God, I never knew I could miss someone so much, and you'd think by now I'd be used to it, but every time I see her I get this rush of emotions."

"That's what happens when you love someone." He sighed. "You staying with your parents a little longer?"

"Yeah, my shift doesn't start for another six hours."

"Alright, well I've got a meeting in just about 15 minutes and I can't tie my tie right."

I let out a half laugh. "I bet you really miss me."

He was laughing too. "Oh hush." There was a pause "I miss you more than you know, but I gots to go." He jumped up and down like a kid, he reminded me so much of Wyatt.

"Okay okay! I love you!"

"Loved you first!" He said before hanging up. My door then swung open.

"Mmm, early morning facetimes, your cheeks are flushed, and for once, you're smiling in the morning." Joe put a hand on his chin. "Did you just try to make out with Derek on the phone? Ew Cam that's disgusting!"

I rolled my eyes and pushed him out. "I'm coming to check on you in 5 minutes so get ready because my hands are very cold."

"Don't come near me with those." He warned before I pushed the last of him out and closed the door.

I ran into the bathroom to wash my face. The sun was shining, the birds were yapping, and everything just looked and felt so peaceful and happy. I could get used to waking up like this.

On the other side of the country:

ZACH POV

"Kels, that doctor was a bust. I just got the same answer as last time." I stood outside, my back against a wall on a busy street in L.A. I was burning up in this suit jacket, and I'm sure she could see me hyperventilating.

"Wow, I really thought that one was getting somewhere." I caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes.

I put a hand behind my ear. "Is that sarcasm I hear?"

"Hmm, potentially." She threw the paper up. "Anyways, this is the last lead. This doctor is literally the best of the best, and if you don't get the results you want from this one, you have proven to me that you are completely hopeless."

"Haven't I been hopeless since you met me?" I smirked.

She began muttering, "Zachary fracking Goode if you don't shut the freaking hell up-"

"Ah ah ah." I shook my head in disapproval. "Language."

"Die."

"We all know I'm on the brink of that, no need to say that out loud." There was a dead silence on the phone. "I know you didn't hang up on me-"

"No I didn't, I was waiting for you to cut your bullshit so I could finish what I was saying."

"You may continue, your majesty." I chuckled.

"You'll realize how dumb what you said is when you're older." She tucked a strand of her luscious hair behind her ear. I wanted to play with it even more now. "Her name is Dr. Cameron Morgan. She's 27, one of the most experienced doctors of her age, never done a surgery that failed, never had a patient that wasn't cured after she saw them. She works in a small hospital downtown in Washington D.C."

"Cameron Morgan. Sounds familiar."

"Maybe because she was Class of '14 at Gallagher University, which is only the same year that you graduated, no biggie." She scoffed.

"Oh, I remember her now. That shy girl is cutting into people? Yikes."

"That "shy girl" is your last hope at fighting this, so I suggest you get your ass into that Benz and go."

"Hm, talking about my ass now are we?"

"Zach-"

"Alright woman." I shook the Keys in my hands. "I'm leaving."

"Cammie!" My mom called from the door. I grasped a tight hold on my towel and ran as fast as I could. What did I do this time?

"You ordered breakfast? You know I always cook in the morning!" She yelled.

"Mom, I can assure you I didn't order that! I just woke up!" I jumped defensively.

"Oh yeah? Then why does it say-" she began to read it to herself. "Awe that's sweet."

Umm, wasn't I just getting yelled at?

"What does it say?"

"They aren't crepes from Monaco, but I know how you like eating my food." She smiled. "They're from Derek." My mom was swooning. I admit, it was surely cute, but Derek was always doing cute things.

"Your highnesses." Joe declared as he walked into the room.

"Did I decree that you are officially off bed rest?" I glared at him.

He simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "I make my own rules, woman."

I looked around before calling out, "Aunt Abby-"

"Kid, there's no need to be nasty." He jumped. "I'll be on my way." Lets be honest, no one in this family is as scary as Aunt Abby.

I finally got around to checking Joe out. He was doing better than yesterday, so I told him that if he drank his medicine and behaved, I would let him use the laptop for work time.

I left around 3 pm, and my mom hugged me like she wasn't gonna see me for a whole year. In reality, I know she's gonna bring me dinner on Wednesday. This is just her being dramatic like every weekend.

"Don't forget, tell Aunt Abby to stop by my apartment later on, if she has time."

"You couldn't tell me yourself?" She said from the couch, where I could've sworn she was sleeping half a second ago. "Where you going in such a rush?"

"Abby, I have work in 3 hours, my house is 2 hours and 30 minutes from here, and to top it off I left my badge on the coffee table."

"Alright, don't speed down the highway." She winked.

I shrugged defensively. "I always drive the speed limit."

My mom quickly shook her head. "No-no, you drive like a premature race car driver with something to prove." She shuddered. "You might be the reason I have car anxiety."

"Do you want me to make it to work?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I want you to make it alive too." She cocked a hip.

I raised my hands in defeat. "Alright, I'll drive slow."

Double Upload! So you guys have seen Zach now! A glimpse, but all will be explained. I was feeling special because Super Bowl and all.

GallagherGirlsEmbassyRowFan: Yes she does because there has to be a Zammie obstacle and since Derek was in Is He Dead, I reused him. Them lasting hasn't been a decision I've made yet, still developing hehe :) they were fighting because Derek has made a few too many mistakes and people are fed up of seeing Cam put up with it but don't worry I'll expand on it I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

It was Saturday night, and we all crowded Macey's bathroom, taking turns curling/braiding/straightening each other's hair and beating each other's face. Let's just say, I should've stayed home. I mean, my comfiest set of pj's were waiting for me with a bowl of kettle popcorn and some quality Netflix time, but no, I decided to be a good friend and go out with these bimbos.

Curse my good heart.

I yelped in pain as Macey yanked the barrel of the curling iron away from my head.

"Stop moving, don't you want these curls to come out right?"

"If it were up to me I wouldn't let you sit here and make me your personal Barbie."

"Honey, it's not like you would've had a choice in the matter."

"Liz, why do we even have to go clubbing?" I whined.

She rolled her eyes. "Because we're doctors and we never do anything."

"Um, I watch Netflix all the time what are you talking about?" Bex walked past me, not-so-gently bopping my head. Macey was quick to smack her hand, as I'm sure she messed up a curl.

"Just stop complaining." Liz applied a little more gloss onto her lips. "It's probably the only time I'll ever ask you to leave your house."

The club was crowded and the lights were changing colors too quickly. It went from blue, to red, to white, to purple, gosh it was just a quick changing rainbow. The DJ was pumping a song with a heavy bass and I was sure these speakers wouldn't make it through the night. People were dancing all around, some couples doing Rated R things in the corner, not my place to judge.

I was born from my parents doing R Rated things.

Bex, Liz, and Macey disappeared just as quickly as we arrived. I'm sure they were probably around here somewhere, dancing, Liz was probably puking up her first drink.

I decided to have a drink myself to take off the stress, and maybe let me forget that I didn't even wanna be here.

"What can I get ya?"

"Can I get something fruity, please?" He nodded and started mixing something with ice in a shaker. He poured the pink liquid into a tall glass and added a slice of lemon.

I downed it faster than he handed it to me.

Drink after drink I kept drinking this fruity crap. I'm a really bad doctor considering I know what this is doing to my insides and I'm still downing it.

Thankfully no one tried to hit on me. Not only am I taken, but I look like a mess.

My hair was damp with sweat from the heat of the club, my eyeliner probably a little bit smudged, and my curls were for sure ruined. Macey killing me for the way I look was my biggest worry.

A hand hit my shoulder. I turned around to see Bex, probably a bit more drunk than me.

"Cammie!" She shouted. "Ugh, where's Liz and Macey?"

I shrugged, "Weren't they with you?"

"No." She giggled. "I was with him." She pointed to a man with jet black hair and eyes in the middle of the dance floor. He ran a hand through his wavy hair revealing a toned arm.

"Bex, we should find Macey, and Liz, and get out of here." I tried to stand up but my knees buckled beneath me and I fell to the ground, Bex coming down with me.

I tried to get up but my head was pounding, and the floor was just so comfortable at the time. Sure, there might have been other places more comfortable than that, way more comfortable, but I was already on the floor. So I just stayed there, and drifted to sleep.

The alarm clock started ringing and I turned it off with my arm, still sleeping. I was wearing my coziest pj shorts and a soft cotton shirt. My phone and tablet were plugged.

Something felt off, was last night a dream? The pang my head felt when I rolled over said otherwise. I was a doctor, and I knew the difference between a migraine and a hangover. This was for sure a hangover.

The curtains were drawn, no sunlight peeping in. I opened my eyes a little more, and on the nightstand was two Advil's and a glass of water, a little note that said "drink me". The handwriting was especially unfamiliar, it didn't belong to anyone I know.

How did I get home last night? All I remember is we tried to find Macey and Liz, and none of us were capable of leaving ourselves. I sat up and instantly regretted that because goodness, it didn't feel good.

This is why I don't get drunk.

I decided to go make some toast. Maybe food will resolve this hangover.

My heavy footsteps hit the hardwood one by one and I felt bad because the neighbors were probably awake now, all thanks to me. I made it into the kitchen to find that someone had already made me coffee, with some waffles from Waffle House, with chocolate chips and hash browns instead of eggs. That's my usual order.

Who would go through all this trouble to bring me home?

My first instinct was to call Derek.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice answered the phone.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you were sleeping." I facepalmed myself for not thinking about the time difference.

"No I was just closing my eyes for a minute, I couldn't sleep last night."

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna let you get some sleep."

"But I'm not sleepy." He whined, and reminded me of Wyatt.

"Babe, go to bed."

"Fine." He huffed. "But only because you asked nicely." I hung up, my question still unanswered. I quickly tried to call someone else.

All I could feel was the anticipation. The feeling of not knowing what's going on and where it went wrong. It rang, and rang, and rang, and at one point I considered she wouldn't wake up.

"What?" She snapped at me, sleepdust in her eyes.

I could swear my voice was an octave higher when I said, "Liz, how did you get home?"

She gave me a 'da-faqk-is-you-talking-about' look, before realizing she was sprawled out on her bed. "Did you get the two Advil's and the water, with the drink me note?"

I saw her face grow extremely pale, "Yeah, Cam, there's Advil here."

"Go to your kitchen!" I exclaimed, watching her run. "Is there Waffle House in there too?"

She shrieked. "No freaking way."

"Liz, I'm adding Bex and Macey." I watched them slowly pop onto the screens. They woke up in the same settings as I did, dark rooms, Advil and water on the table, Waffle House in the kitchen. I plopped onto the bed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Guys, are we sure none of us did this? No one drunk called an Uber or anything?"

Macey threw her hands up in the air. "Listen, I didn't see you guys for the rest of the night, I know it wasn't me."

"I was tipsy after my first two shots." Liz shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "Bex was passed out on the floor in front of the bar with me."

"Where is Bex?"

She lifted up her phone screen. "I'm right here."

"Are you eating the food?" Macey raised an eyebrow.

"Don't judge me, it's Waffle House for freaks sake."

"What if it's poisoned you dimwit?"

Bex's accent was especially strong when she got defensive. "I would die eating food knobhead."

There was a hesitant pause, Liz opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but then immediately shut it again. For some reason, I knew she was going to ask, because I had been thinking the whole time.

"Guys?" I looked around. "Do you think we're being watched?"

Haha, idk if you'd call this short, I didn't feel like explaining this chapter too much as it will be throughly explained in the next chapter, so yah.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

It had been 6 hours since I woke up earlier.

I hated that I had work that day. I regret the fact that I chose to get immensely intoxicated the night before as well. But despite that, I dragged my behind into work.

I wasn't used to the lights feeling this bright, the walk down the hallway feeling this long. And wow, there were ironically more children yelling in this hospital than usual, what was it, national shot day?

No, it was karma. Hmm, I must've committed multiple accounts of homicide in my last life, that's why the world was punishing me.

A subtle vibration started in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out and answered.

"Woah, where is my girlfriend?" Derek mocked. I watched as he jumped onto his hotel bed.

"I'm right here."

"Nah, you're a sleep deprived Zombie. My girlfriend's name is Cammie, she's about yay high," he lifted his hand to his chest. "She's got light brown hair, but since it's autumn it'll look darker, probably walking around with a massive food baby-"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up Derek." He started laughing. "Just a couple hours ago, you were a sleep deprived bum too and I was nice to you."

"I'm sorry, you look beautiful even if you're acting like a meanie." He pouted. "Rough night?"

"If you were here Liz and the girls wouldn't have coaxed me into clubbing and getting drunk, and then I wouldn't have this hangover." I huffed.

"Cammie, even time zones away you still manage to blame me for everything." He chuckled.

I shoved my key into the office door. "Because everything somehow links itself back to you."

"Speaking of things being my fault, your mom has asked me not to send breakfast on the days you spend back home."

I thought about it in my head. Derek wasn't the one who sent me breakfast then. "Oh really, how dramatic of her."

"I think she did it because she cares."

"Yeah, she does. Maybe just a little too much sometimes."

I looked on to the list of patients I had to see today.

"Derek, my next appointment is in 5 minutes, I gotta go."

"But I didn't even get my good morning kiss." He whined.

I remembered what Joe said. "I'm not kissing you through the phone."

"Well you might as well pucker up because I'm coming in for one." He pursed his lips, waiting. But when he saw the look on my face he couldn't help but let out a sigh and pout.

"Come back to DC and you'll get a real kiss." I winked and hung up.

Room 295 I repeated over and over until I arrived to the room. 4 years working here and I still forget where the heck I'm going.

I knocked gently. "Mrs. Fietner?"

I was met by a frail old lady. Her eyes were a mesmerizing dark brown, and her hair was white, but it framed her perky cheekbones perfectly. She was wringing her hands together.

"I'm Doctor Morgan, now what brings you in today?"

Her voice came out quiet and hoarse. "I'm in a choir at my church, I woke up this morning and my voice was gone."

I picked up the otoscope. "Open up your mouth for me." I looked down and was greeted by her inflamed larynx.

"You have some inflammation down there, I'm guessing you have laryngitis from the stress on your vocal chords." I picked up my notepad and began writing. "I'm gonna prescribe you some corticosteroids, and some antibiotics, along with painkillers." She nodded, still wringing her hands. "In my experience, my mom used to give me hard candies to soothe my throat," I leaned in. "Don't tell anyone."

She chuckled a bit, reminding me of Grandma Morgan.

"Alright ma'am, lots of water and rest for that voice of yours. You should be better in 3 days time."

"Thank you dear." She stood up, reaching for her cane. I grabbed it for her and helped her off the examination table. "You've been a great help."

"It's my job, ma'am."

—-

3 hours.

I have been on my feet for 3 hours.

3 freaking hours.

I'm really considering that I should quit my job.

Liz came in an hour ago with hangover cures for both of us and no doubt I needed it. That was just the bolt of energy to get me going.

Finally sitting down in my comfy desk chair, I spun to the clipboard hanging on our wall, to check my next appointment. Yes, I have a good 10 minutes to rest before this checkup in cardiology.

Liz burst in, extremely giddy for someone who couldn't even spell her last name the night before.

"Guess what!"

I rolled my eyes, tapping my pen on the table. "What?"

"You're never gonna believe this." She gasped. "Hell I still don't believe it." She threw her hands in the air. "It happened so quickly!"

"It'd be nice to know _what_ you're talking about."

"Dr. Ramirez!"

I shrugged. "What about him?"

"You know that seafood place I've been claiming is hands-down the best in D.C.?"

"Yes, you wouldn't shut up about it in the break room this morning."

"Well, Dr. Ramirez caught me in the hallway and asked me if I'd go with him!" She exclaimed pulling me to my feet and jumping up and down.

"Liz I'm happy for you, stop shaking me." I shook her off. "I'm still hungover."

"Right, well Dr. Ramirez cured my hangover. He truly is as amazing as they say." If this was a cartoon or a movie, they would've edited hearts on her eyes because she looked absolutely wrapped in her thoughts. I made gagging noises and broke her out of her trance.

"What's your next appointment?" I ask, circling around my desk.

"I've got some business in cardiology, t-3 minutes."

"Same, who's your patient?"

"No patient info, just a room number."

"113?" She nodded. "Hmm, that's not normal."

"What?" She cocked an eyebrow. "That we just got mystery patients, or that two doctors are needed in cardiology for one patient?"

"Both." We burst out of the doors as if we were in a cartoon and ran into Cardiology as fast as are legs would take us (not so fast for me).

We both stood in front of the door, not sure as to whether we should open it or not.

"Cammie, the door isn't gonna open itself."

"Why won't you open it?" I hissed.

"You're closer."

"You're the one who said you had the appointment first!" I hissed.

She crossed her arms. "Did not."

"Did too."

All of a sudden, almost as if it was planned, a man dramatically opened the door and stood in the doorway, the biggest smirk on his face.

"It's been four years ladies. I bet neither of you thought you'd see me again."

"Zachary Goode." I said sarcastically.

He did a funny curtsy. "Cameron Morgan. You look much better sober." Zach smiled as he stood up.

"It was you who brought us home?" He nodded.

I raised my eyebrow. "How'd you even know where we were?"

He turned his phone screen around. "You posted these on Instagram with your location. Didn't want you spending the night on the floor of a bar." He chuckled a bit. "I actually found Liz passed out behind the bar."

I ignored him, Liz and I sharing the same question swirling in our head.

"Why are you in cardiology?" Liz and I both sputtered our thoughts at the same time, unable to hold ourselves.

"Well-" he gave an awkward laugh. "You see-" he continued.

"Stop stalling and spit it out." I snapped.

"I have restrictive cardiomyopathy!" He sputtered, his voice a mix of unknown emotions. "At least that's what the last doctor told me."

"But-." Liz began. "It doesn't-" she choked. "I don't believe-"

"Which is why I came for a second and third opinion." He held out both of his arms. "Check away."

"Liz, you do a electrocardiogram and a couple blood tests. I'll do a stress test, an echocardiogram, and and heart scan." And then we were off, poking and prodding at Zach's arms and legs, pulling him through random machines, asking him questions he didn't know the answer to, the usual treatment you get in the doctors office. When Liz and I were done, we both stared at the results in shock.

"You have restrictive cardiomyopathy." Liz muttered.

"So I'm gonna die?"

"Well," I started, "So the deal is..." I sighed. "Maybe-"

"You're farther into your symptoms then those other doctors may have told you." Liz said bluntly.

I hit her arm. "Liz!"

"I don't sugarcoat things I'm not Willy Wonka!"

I began wringing my hands. "It's not that big a deal, Liz is being a little dramatic. We're gonna change up your diet, put you on some new workouts and some supplements, see how you improve."

"Just tell me if I'm gonna die," he sighed, his green eyes growing darker "because I really need to know."

I slowly tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You're not going to die. Not yet at least." I tried to humor him.

"You're the first doctor whose told me that, Morgan. I hope you can keep your word."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Have I ever broken a promise?"

We had a nutritionist come in and explain to him what he needed to eat.

Liz dragged me out by my elbow, not saying a word until we walked into our office.

"How could you feed him all that bull?" She shouted.

"What am I supposed to do Liz? Tell him 'oh, you're dying, good luck with the rest of your life!'"

"Tell him the gosh darn truth! He needs to know his condition just in case."

I plopped into my chair, running a hand through the tangles in my hair. "I know I'm treading on eggshells-"

"That's an understatement. You're walking barefoot on broken glass. You just made a promise that you can't keep."

"Liz, whether I like it or not, I'm gonna have to keep it."

Okay, so quick interruption, I was supposed to post 3 whole chapters last night, but I was making this bomb fan edit ( _tvreviewtings) and got so wrapped up in it. Comments in next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Liz has refused to talk to me for 2 days.

She claims that it's because I ate her sweet and sour chicken, but I know Liz like I know the way around my kitchen.

She's mad that I won't tell Zach the truth.

And I don't blame her for it, she has her rights and she's not completely wrong.

But it's movie night at her house, trust me when I say she'll come around.

I approached the small, doll-like house of hers and rang the doorbell twice, kicking at the sea blue rug. Both times she refused to open the door, so I went around back to the kitchen window that's always unlocked, made myself as small as possible, and climbed in.

I don't know what led me to creepily sit on the couch, but hey, a girl gets bored sometimes.

"I hope the neighbors saw you climb through my window. I hope they're calling the cops right now." She stuck her tongue out at me as she walked into the kitchen with her blue onesie and her pink bunny slippers.

I threw my head back. "It's not that easy to get me in jail."

"Vegas P. D. says otherwise." She cocked an eyebrow.

I threw my hands up. "It's not my fault I matched the description of a wanted criminal!"

"Mmhm, whatever." The doorbell rang again and Liz gladly opened it.

"Oh so you wanna open the door now?" I muttered as Bex and Macey walked in.

Liz rolled her eyes before slamming the door. "I don't open the door for hobos."

"Oooh a hobo, can we keep her?" Bex yelled, throwing her arms around me. I pushed her arm off of me as she had a giggle fit.

I wriggled my nose. "Go change, you reek of new money and coffee."

"Some people say that new cash scent is the best smell in the world."

"Not if the money isn't yours." Macey countered. We all walked into Liz's room, scrambling for our clothes that we keep here.

Bex came out wearing a pair of black pj bottoms with white hearts and a white graphic tee. Macey wore pink shorts and a long sleeve polka dot shirt. I wore a pair of joggers and my favorite v-neck sleep shirt, along with a pair of fuzzy booties.

I plopped onto the couch. "Which movie is it this week?"

The remote was snatched out of my hand before Bex smiled her signature evil smile. "Me before you."

"I begged you guys not to pick that one!" I whined.

"We didn't care about your opinion. Still don't." Macey laughed.

The movie started and we all got quiet, except for the sound of snack bags opening everywhere. What's weird is how close to reality this movie felt like, the girl being me, the man being Zach, except Zach and I were never involved romantically.

He was a college friend, a bit flirty but we had boundaries, and we respected them, except for that one time where I was drunk and kissed him.

We talked a lot, hung out on campus. I remember him telling me his dream of going to Rome, to see the streets and taste the gelato. I remember telling him about the boy that kissed me before the end of school.

The man in the end, dies, leaving the girl fortune and unhappiness. It made me wonder, what if Zach was dating someone? What if him dying would leave that poor girl heartbroken? Am I making a mistake? Am I being selfish by not telling him?

I couldn't stand it anymore, and couldn't hear my thoughts over the sound of Liz and Macey wailing.

"Next movie?" I asked, hoping it would be Dora or something.

"Seven Pounds."

"That movie with Will Smith in it?" Bex asked.

"Yep." Macey brought out another box of tissues.

"You only plan things like this to eat, sleep, and cry." I huffed.

The movie started, the beginning quite confusing once again. From what I understood a detective got attached to a patient, who needed a heart transplant, I mean you could tell before they revealed it. I had them stop the movie halfway, not wanting to know the ending. Case in point, I need to tell Zach.

"Liz, did you pick the movies this week?"

"Yeah."

"I can tell." I rolled my eyes and brought out a couple blankets from the storage closet. My work phone started ringing so I pulled myself to the front of the house and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Yeah-" a deep voice answered. Whoever it was, they were surely drunk. "I need help-"

"What's wrong?"

"I messed up-" he breathed. "I just need you-" he took a pause. "Help me." Without thinking I pulled on a jacket and rushed into the living room.

"Which one of you can track phone numbers?"

"Me." Bex stared straight at me. I gave her a surprised look. "I learned from an online tutorial." She shrugged taking the phone from me. In about five minutes she had a location.

"That pub four blocks after the hospital. I'll try and track it from my computer, tell you if it moves."

"Thanks." I rushed out of the door and into my car. The way my keys ended up in the ignition is the same way my tires were speeding down the street.

I arrived at the pub, my first sight being Zach about to wander onto the street. He was drunk. I ran up to him and pulled him off, Zach seconds from going unconscious in my arms.

"How many did you have?"

"2 vodka sodas, one margarita, a beer or two-" he drifted off, the rest becoming a memory to him.

"You weren't supposed to go drinking." I huffed.

He slurred his words. "I'm fine." He began trying to squirm out of my arms.

"Dumb things like this are the reason you're about to die." I mumbled, his eyes getting wider. This is the moment when I would say oops or something, but this is much bigger than oops. You could see the real Zach slowly popping back in his form.

"I'm gonna die?" He muttered. "You lied to me." He began trying to squirm out of my arms again.

"I didn't want you worrying." He looked at me, his eyes turning red.

"Let me back into the bar." He struggled in my arms.

"Are you kidding? No!" I shouted.

"I'm about to die, might as well live life to the fullest."

"I told you, you won't die if I can stop it."

"Who says you can-" he started to drift. "Stop-" his breathing became heavier and he was taking long pauses between words.

"You're having symptoms, I'm not letting you back into that bar."

I dragged him into the car and drove him back to the apartment, Zach falling asleep in the back seat. Realizing I wouldn't be able to carry him up the stairs, I gave up in defeat and called Macey.

"Mace?"

"What?" She growled.

"Come downstairs and help me please."

"You want me to get out of my warm bed, interrupt my good sleep, and come downstairs to help you?"

"Yes, Macey, I do want that." I sighed.

Macey hung up.

I turned to my next option and called Bex.

"Bex-"

"I'm not doing it either." She hung up. I went to my final hope and called Liz.

"Lizzie?"

"Yes Cammie?"

"Can you come downstairs and help me drag Zach up to the apartment?"

"Um, yeah, I'll be right down." I could imagine her rubbing her eyes. She came downstairs, changed in a silk white gown, giving off a half ghost half angel vibe.

"What did he do again?"

"He was drunk at a pub close to the hospital. Only responsible thing he did was call me."

"Alcohol isn't good for him." Liz put a hand to her forehead before grabbing one of his arms and draping it on her shoulder.

"At least he knows where his condition stands now." I muttered, Liz almost dropping him on the stairs.

"You told a drunk man that his condition could kill him?"

"On accident." I opened the door and set him on the couch, bringing out a blanket to cover him with. He turned to the side, becoming slightly paler than usual.

"Who's that?" Macey and Bex both appeared from the bedroom.

"So when I call you asking for help, you don't have the time, but when it's time to be nosy you got all day?"

"Just tell us who's on your couch." Bex quipped.

"Zachary Goode."

"The Zachary Goode? As in the one from college?" Macey added.

"Yep." Liz popped the p.

"He turned out well." Bex said.

"Yeah, if having restrictive cardiomyopathy is-"

She put up a hand. "English, Dr. Morgan."

"He has a rare type of structural heart failure."

"Oh." They both looked down, unsure of what to say. It's like saying someone died to a person who didn't know them, you never really know how to react. I looked back to Zach sleeping peacefully on the couch, his chest rising and falling at a steady pace, symptoms slowly fading. We would have a lot of explaining to do in the morning, some more than others.

Okay, this is the last chapter I'm uploading.

Sorry for the hiatus! Honestly don't even know how time passed so fast but it's whatever.

Reviews: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave so long! Well, Derek's backstory won't be explained for a few chapters, I don't even know when but trust me, he's put Cam through a lot. Yes, our devilishly handsome bean has arrived and in afraid that he was talking to his girlfriend, Kelsie, but they may not be together for long, gotta rock the boat.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

A blanket of darkness covered the skies, as I slid into the alleyway. My black hoodie clinged to my shirt as snow poured from above and slicked the black asphalt. I jogged quickly taking sharp turns and unknown shortcuts until I arrived at the hospital.

"I'm here to see Matthew Morgan." I said frantically.

"Are you immediately family?"

"I'm his daughter, I need to see my dad." I pressed.

A nurse in purple scrubs with her hair tightly tied in a ponytail arrived. She led me into a hallway, all of my emotions and senses stronger. I paid attention to the tapping of feet on the floor, to the heartbeat monitors that beeped in every room, to the screams of children that didn't want to get shots, none of that mattering because my dad was in this hospital.

I rush into the room and to my dad's side, where my mother was already sobbing.

"Mom? Dad?"

My dad turned to me, but his face looked different. "Camster."

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"We all knew this was gonna happen."

"No." I whimpered.

"Cam, listen to me." He cupped my face, a tear rolling down my cheek and into his hand. "I need you to be strong, for me at least. Don't be out here crying-"

"I can't dad. I can't do it."

He looked at me sympathetically. "Cam, we all knew this was coming."

"Dad, I can't do this. You're supposed to live to see me graduate and get married, how am I gonna do those things without you?"

"Cammie you'll be fine-"

"I won't." I wiped a tear from my eye and squeezed his hand. "Please daddy, just, don't leave me yet."

I haven't said daddy since I was a kid. When I grew up I stopped saying it. I didn't call him daddy when I needed things like most girls do, I only called him dad. He was distant all the time yet I was still attached to him. So when I said daddy it took everyone by shock, I could see it in their eyes.

"The doctor will fix things." He whispered wiping a tear from my chin with his thumb. "I'm gonna be there, I promise."

Let me tell you, that never happened. I took his word and waited patiently as the doctor scrambled around the hospital room. I stood in the back, barely able to look at what they were doing. A moment later they all stood at a loss for words, the heartbeat monitor letting out a slow consistent beep.

"I'm sorry for your loss." The doctor turned to face me, before leaving the room. My mother's sobs became louder, but at the same time more harmonious.

"What do you mean?" I backed up into the wall, feeling all sources of air drifting farther away, and the walls coming closer.

"He's not going to make it." Joe whispered.

"Please." I begged, rushing to his side.

"We do not tolerate crying-" One of the nurses began.

Joe pushed the nurse out of the way. "Can you have some sympathy?"

"Joe," his voice was gone, but ever so quiet as he said "take care of my girls." His eyes gently fluttered around before closing completely.

"Dad, no. Dad you're gonna make it." I grabbed his hand again. "Dad you promised!" I snapped, watching him, challenging him to say all of this was a prank. I wanted him to wake up and laugh at me for being such a crybaby. He didn't move, he didn't talk, all he did was lie there. I stifled my cries, running my hand down his cheek. I kept feeling his forehead, but there was nothing.

"Your father is dead." Joe gently pulled me closer to him, and farther from my father.

"No!" I yelled. "It's impossible." I shouted, tears streaming down my face. Joe continued trying to calm me.

"Cammie, it'll be-"

I pushed away rejecting his hug, rejecting him. "No! Get away from me! Stop lying to me!"

"Cammie, calm down-"

"Just stop!" I then felt a cold towel wake me up. I was a second from slapping the figure until his hold became tighter.

"Cammie, it's alright, I won't hurt you." The voice whispered, pressing a cold damp towel to my face. I woke up in a pile of sweat, Zach holding my head in his arms.

"Are you okay?" He asked, clearly concerned.

I shook it off and pulled myself out of his arms. "It was just a nightmare, nothing abnormal." I sat upright and wiped the sweat off of my face.

"I've never seen a girl who shouts and kicks like that in her nightmares."

I looked up to him. "It usually lasts longer. You're the first one who's stopped it." I admitted. "The last time someone tried it didn't go very well for them." I let out a gentle laugh remembering what I did to Solomon.

"I guess you have a Goode luck charm in your house." He winked, laying back down on the couch, the moonlight reflecting off of his chest. His chest has changed a lot since college, not that he was wimpy, he just wasn't this sculpted either.

"Are you checking me out, Dr. Morgan?"

"I don't see anything worth looking at twice, Mr. Goode." I said, feeling like I finally got to him. I should've known that Zachary Goode always has a comeback.

"Oh, you looked more than twice." His smirk became wider.

I stood up and dusted myself off, muttering nothing but "I'll see you in the morning." And even after I could hear the gentle laughter taunting me. I pushed Bex to the other side of the bed, and took my place.

As I tried to sleep, all I could think about was how my dream was different from what really happened. It wasn't snowing the night he died. There was no nurse with purple scrubs and tight ponytail. I don't remember hearing any children. And worst of all, I couldn't remember my dad's face. It's like I haven't been seeing it all my life, everywhere I go.

I pushed it away like it was nothing, like it was just a really bad retelling of the story. For some reason it didn't take long for me to drift back to sleep that night.

Maybe I had a Goode luck charm after all.

A draft woke me up that morning. For some reason Liz's bedroom window was open, Bex and the others still sleeping.

I slipped out and decided to make breakfast, until I arrived to the kitchen to see that a certain shirtless man beat me to it.

"Good morning." He smirked.

I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, morning."

"I'm hoping you slept well?"

"Better than most nights, thank you."

"That's because you had a Goode luck charm spend the night on your couch." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Haha, you're hilarious." My nose drifted to the smells wafting around the kitchen, leading me to walk around the counter and close to the stove.

"Who taught you how to make pancakes?" I said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

His face saddened. "My mother, Catherine." He stopped whisking the batter and put his hands on the counter, his back arching slightly. It was a good view from my perspective.

I leaned on the fridge. "She must be a good cook."

"She was." He kept referring to her in the past tense. Although ashamed to ask I needed to know, and the words slipped off my tongue like butter on the frying pan.

"Is she...you know, okay?"

"If my dad having to lock her up in a mental institution is okay, then yeah, she's fine."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry for even bringing it up."

"Don't worry, I've gotten used to it."

"That doesn't make it any better on my part." I stood there, scouring my brain for something to say, to level the playing field. "If it makes you feel better my dad died." His head snapped to me. "Heart attack. Probably why I chose to become a doctor, and it's why I have nightmares sometimes, because I witnessed it."

"Well I'm glad you became a doctor, not so happy about the things leading up to it." Zach finally put the batter in the frying pan, a slight sizzling sound coming from it.

I could hear movement, meaning that my hungry friends smelled food and were on their way.

The way Zach moved around the kitchen showed that he could've been a chef. He sprinkled little bits of this here, dropped some of that in there, and flipped pancakes every where, all in 20 minutes.

I think I might have drooled over one of the pancakes, on accident. For a doctor, I have a lot of accidents.

"Breakfast is served." He put down five plates on the beautifully decorated table.

I looked to Liz. "It's been a while since we had a meal that looked this pretty."

"Stop saying it like you don't love takeout." She shot back.

"So Zach, an entrepreneur, and a very wealthy one at that." Macey hinted. I looked to Zach as his face turned red.

"I didn't know about that." Liz and I said in unison.

"A guy sleeps on your couch overnight, you should at least take the time to stalk him." Macey smiled. "So, you might wanna explain." She looked back to Zach.

"I studied Business and Marketing in college, as you guys know, and when I got out I made my own softwares. I hit it big when I made the one the Feds use to find people." He finished, placing a piece of fluffy golden pancake in his mouth.

"That's all? Your not gonna mention the multiple magazines you've been on?" She raised a picture of him shirtless, the title reading 'top ten playboys'. Macey swiped to another one of him wearing a suit, and that title read, 'The Goode Guide to balancing work and home.'

"No. Come on Macey, you were on multiple magazines too, I mean you still are the senator's daughter."

"And no sneak peaks to that book your writing?"

"That book might not even get published. I was just bored and started it, not sure if I'll finish it."

"You have a Wikipedia page but they have no details about you're personal life and I don't even get a tiny explanation?"

He gave a signature smirk that made Macey's blood boil. "My personal life isn't that interesting, I'm afraid."

She sat back in her chair. "Fine, I give."

"Bex, you seem surprisingly quiet today." Zach observed, his eyes having a slight sparkle to them.

"I don't talk before food. I eat first, then start the chit-chat."

"Speaking of chit-chat-" he turned to me. "Did I say anything stupid yesterday?" He whispered. I probably should've told him about the amount of drinks he had, but that didn't occur to me when I nodded in denial. He gave out a breath of relief and we turned back to the others, but especially at Bex's finished plate.

"Can you talk now?"

"What's your deal, Goode?" She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I just want some chit-chat at this gosh darn table!" He shot up in defense.

She reclined in her chair. "Ask away."

"Name?"

"Rebecca Grace Baxter."

"Job?"

"Business."

"Status?"

"Check my Facebook."

"MPR?"

"40,000."

"Last time you left your house?" He stared into her eyes.

"When I was on my way here." She smiled shaking his hand.

I remember in college that's what they did before they had tests, if you stuttered you owed the winner coffee the next day. Zach missed it, and seemingly he missed Bex too. He missed her much more than he missed the rest of us.

Did he like her? I mean, they would kinda make a cute couple.

"Your turn." Bex pointed to him. "Name?"

"Zachary Goode."

"Job?"

"Business."

"Relationship Status?"

"Check my Facebook."

"Last time you logged into Facebook?"

He smiled at this. "When I was changing my status."

He was avoiding the question, which made me more intrigued, and I'm guessing Bex felt the same.

"What did you change your status to?" Damn, Bex had him cornered.

"Come on." He groaned.

"Answer it." Bex snapped.

"Taken."

For some reason they both ignored it and continued.

"MPR?"

"I don't calculate that, it's my assistant's job."

"Last time you were in your house?"

"Which one?"

"The one in Mali."

"Oh shit, um..." Zach stuttered.

"Ha! You owe me coffee." Bex reclined in her chair again. Zach sat back in his chair.

"I can do better than coffee now, Baxter. You win, you decide what you want."

"Something from Michael Kors, it doesn't matter what." She smiled. "Hey, where's that dude, Grant?"

"He's around." He brushes it off. "He opened a shop somewhere mid-town, it's really nice."

"He said he wanted to work for the government."

He shrugged. "Changed his mind. You never know, maybe he'll actually do it."

"What about that Jonas kid?" Liz asked.

"He's actually a soccer player, with a part time job working at a blood bank." He replied. "And I'm guessing Macey wants to know about Preston."

"It doesn't matter, I mean, my dad is his dad's best friend. If I want to know about Preston I'll ask around."

"McHenry, you've gotten much feistier since college." He taunted, watching her cheeks redden. "I'll tell you about Preston anyways. He's helping his dad at the embassy, he's basically Vice President. He honestly asks about you all the time, to which I respond 'Do I look like I know?'."

"Well, that's nice and all but I really need to go. I have work at the bank in two hours, then a photo shoot after my shift." Macey stood up from the table.

"And I have a meeting with PR later." Bex got up as well.

"And there's a patient that booked an appointment with me last minute." Liz remembered standing up.

"Are you serious guys, work?" Zach whined.

Macey huffed. "Some of us actually have to work to get money."

"So everyone has plans today?"

"Not me." Zach said breaking the silence. "I have no meetings, no work, and no papers to sign."

"Then I guess it's you and me today."

I smiled at the thought of having Zach good to myself for the day. Sounds selfish right? But me and him need to talk if we're ever going to get over what happened three years ago.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

I took a quick shower after the girls left, using the hot water to wash all the bad vibes off of my body.

It felt refreshing to forget who I was for a minute, until I came out and found Zach stretched out on Liz's bed. The sunlight from the window reflected off his abs. Again, I struggled to look away. Damnit, don't I have a boyfriend?

"What are you doing here?"

"That couch is hard, this bed is soft, it was calling my name from the start." He smiled.

I sat by him on the bed. "And now its screaming for you to get out. Liz will color these sheets with your blood if she knows you've been here." He rolled over and groaned.

"I'm comfy here." I let out a chuckle before standing up and tugging on his legs, pulling him and my sheets with him.

"Stop it, I like it here." He whined more.

"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither." I continued to pull until he was on my living room floor, where I left him.

"And put on a shirt before I get back."

I then went into Liz's room, and closed the door.

I put on black leggings and a loose white shirt with black stripes. I tied my hair in a high messy bun, strands of my hair perfectly framing my face.

I hated times like this, when want my hair to be perfect it turns out a mess, but when I'm not trying it looks great.

"Your finally done?" He asked as I walked down the hallway.

"You still haven't put on a shirt?"

He smirked. "At least I have on pants." I rolled my eyes and took my seat next to him.

I have no clue why, but I unlocked this unknown confidence around Zach. Its kinda been that way since college. It felt good.

"So what are your plans for the day?" He asked.

"I have no clue."

"Then lets just catch up, I mean, a lot must've happened since college."

I chuckled. "I'm not like Bex, if you wanna have a speed round then I'll definitely be the one owing you coffee."

He smiled at me. "I'll just ask questions. Since you're a beginner there's no penalty."

"Okay then, start."

"Name?" He said slowly.

"Cameron Ann Morgan."

"Job?"

"Doctor."

"Why'd you choose to become a doctor?" He asked curiously.

"I told you, my dad had a heart attack."

"That's what led you to become a doctor, that's not the reason why." He pressed.

I could feel my hands balling into fists. I wasn't mad, I didn't know what I was. It was this indescribable emotion that made me want to ball up my fists, to hold everything in. But eventually I took a deep breath, "I wanted to be better than the people that let him die. I wanted to be a doctor that wouldn't let any patient slip through her fingers, and I still do."

"That's a better answer, next question. Status?"

"In a relationship."

He leaned closer. "Now this one definitely needs an explanation."

"His name is Derek, I met him in New York while I was doing a training session, and he was leaving for a meeting. We've been dating for a year and three months." I said, somewhat feeling comfortable about it.

"Where is he?"

"He has a meeting today in Monaco if I'm not mistaken."

He shrugged it off. "Okay next question. How many kids do you want to have?"

"None at the moment, one baby girl in the future."

"Why only one?" He cocked an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "I was an only child, I turned out fine."

"Really? Because everyone in college that wanted to ask you out were afraid that you were too shy to-"

"Okay, I get it, let's move on." I interrupted his sentence.

"Do you really think I don't remember what I said when I was drunk?" He asked, his natural smirk gradually becoming wider.

"What do you mean?" I said, dumbfounded.

"I mean I remember everything, from the number I had, to the reason why I was drunk in the first place."

"Why were you drunk?"

"Save it for your turn." He said. "Let's see-" he put his hand to his chin. "Do you like me?"

"Yeah I like you." I said plainly.

He facepalmed himself. "No, what's your opinion of me?"

"I guess you've just, changed, so much since college. I didn't expect you to be on magazines like top ten playboys." I said, watching his gaze shift.

"You see, magazines only see what they want to see. They'd rather make up a reputation for you than let you show the person you really are." He turned back to me.

I thought for a minute. "And who are you, Zach?"

He fiddled with his fingers. "I'm still figuring it out, I've got my whole life to do that. Right?"

I smiled. "You will."

"Okay then," he put his hands behind his head. "that's the end of my round, your turn. I suggest you skip the basic questions and get to the juicy stuff, I hate small talk."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope, I'm an only child." He said without pause.

"At least we have that in common." I laughed.

"But the thing is, I didn't turn into a socially awkward weirdo like you did." I shot him a look as he laughed. Rolling my eyes, I continued.

"How many houses do you have?"

"5, but I wanna build a couple more."

I poked him in the side. "You're relationship status, Mr. Goode,"

"I don't have any girls clinging to me." He chuckled.

"Well, what's up between you and Bex?" I leaned in closer.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"Didn't seem like nothing earlier." I pressed.

"I'm not interested in her like that."

"Come on, you would make a cute couple."

"If your trying to hook me up with her, she's not my type."

"Ah, Zach Goode has a type. I'm officially intrigued, spill." I smiled.

"I don't expect much, just someone whose simple, but worth chasing after. She'll have a special way of doing things, and she won't hold her opinion no matter how many people it hurts. She'll be stubborn, but she'll also be understanding. Some one who isn't going to spend the night and leave the next day. A girl who actually loves me for me, not because of the number of 0's on my paycheck."

"That's not descriptive enough." I teased.

"It doesn't get anymore descriptive than that." He smiled.

"But you said you were taken earlier?"

He started pulling his fingers again. "Yeah, her name is Kelsie. I'm thinking of ending it."

I made a weird face. "Why?"

"I dunno, I guess she just deserves better than having to take care of a dying man, we're both so young and I don't wanna put her through this."

I cocked and eyebrow. "So you wanna break her heart and leave her instead?"

He took a deep breath. "Sometimes it takes heartache to avoid heartbreak."

"Okay." I sighed. "You know how you were talking about your mom earlier?" He nodded. "Mind telling me about her?"

He took a deep breath, and a long pause. For a second I thought he wouldn't, and I was about to ask another question when he said, "My mom had red hair, and green eyes that looked like mines of emeralds. When I was younger her eyes were so vibrant, so full of purpose. She had this scent of nature that made you want to cling to her, hold onto her or toss her onto your clothes like she was a dryer sheet." His eyes had a dreamlike effect, but they darkened. "She eventually got into drugs, buying and selling. She started drinking, sometimes mixing the two. Her eyes started to look less lively, her pupils dilated, she always had the smell of beer lingering after her. She would come home drunk, arguing with my dad. She was in multiple affairs, she was-"

"Lost?" I asked, almost like I knew the feeling.

"Yeah." He struggled to continue. "One day I came home and found my room trashed, knives in the wall, what looked like blood splattered on the floor, and my name with a giant 'x' through it." I could feel him shudder from my side of the couch. "Both of them claimed not to know who did it, so I cleaned it up and went to bed." He shrugged. I gave him a look that said 'you don't have to keep going,' but he did anyways. "The next day I found it like that again, the damage slightly worse than the first time. My dad had cameras put in that night, telling me whoever it was they would be caught, but I didn't care. I wanted to catch the person cold handed. The third day I ditched last period to come home early and find out who was doing it, and I found my mom, pouring blood from a bag all over my floor, and holding a knife." I looked at him, my eyes begging him not to continue if he can't. He just inhaled again. "When I asked her what she was doing, she gave me a sickly smile. She claimed it was none of my business, and when I tried to put up a fight, she pointed the knife at me." He shuddered, his voice shaking in the slightest, it would be nearly undetectable if my ears weren't trained to pick up things like that. "She threatened to kill me as she held it to my throat. She called me a disgrace, claimed I was what happens when you forget a condom." He laughed at the bittersweetness of the memory. "She sliced me on my arm, told me next time I'll mind my damn business. She kept tracing the knife over my skin as I stood there helplessly pinned to the wall, the cold knife digging itself into my body. My dad said he tried to come as soon as possible, and he did, he came just in time to have the cops cuff my mom and take her to the looney bin, but he wasn't there in time to save me."

"I'm sorry for asking." I looked down in shame.

He was silent for a long time. "You know, you're the first person I've been able to tell the whole story to. I guess I trust you, Morgan."

I smiled at the thought.

"Why were you drunk last night?"

"My dad called me. Since I hadn't heard from him in a while I picked up. He told me that he's been visiting my mom the past couple of weeks, and that he's thinking about bringing her home."

"Do you want her to come home?" God, why do these questions keep flying out of my mouth?

"Honestly, I'm not sure." He ran his hands through his hair. "I haven't seen her since then, and it still feels too early."

It was my turn to play with my fingers. "I think you should give her a chance. She's been there for a while getting psychological help, I'm sure she's stable now."

"I told my dad I'll think about it, but I know he's going to feel bad and forgive her, like he did when he found out about her affair." He stood up to go to the kitchen, opening the fridge.

"He won't make a big decision like that without your approval." I stood up leaning against the kitchen counter. "Anyways, when are we gonna talk about what happened three years ago?" I saw him stiffen as he stuck his head further into the fridge.

"Wow, I thought you had much more milk than this." He shook the bottle.

"Zach," I said, my voice a warning.

"Cammie I'm not talking about that."

I rolled my eyes. "Zach I know that's the reason why you left before graduation. There was no family emergency in Kentucky."

"You," He pointed at me, "weren't supposed to end up at that party." He grabbed the tub of cream cheese and a spoon. He walked back to the living room and slumped into the couch. I watched him furiously struggle with the lid before I followed, not uttering a word until I sat down.

"Zach it wasn't your fault."

"I knew the guys, I couldn't stop the guys, my fault." He shoved the spoon into his mouth.

"You were more wasted than me. You did what you could."

"It wasn't enough! They had-" he stopped. "and I basically just sat and watched."

"Zach, if I'm not blaming you, why blame yourself?"

"I brought you there in the first place, I should've protected you."

"You don't need to protect me, I can protect myself."

"Really?" He snapped. "Because if Jonas wasn't sober I think things would've went differently-"

A phone call interrupted his sentence. It was his.

He threw his head in his hands. "You mind if I take this?"

"Nope," I pointed to my right, "back door is that way in case you want some privacy." I watched him followed my finger.

He stood there for a couple minutes, not as if he was in an interesting conversation but rather one where he couldn't hang up and put his phone on do not disturb.

He came back moments later, a perplexing look on his face.

"What happened?" I asked.

He started shifting his weight from foot to foot. "It was my assistant."

I laughed. "Don't tell me you're leaving too."

"I'm afraid so, Morgan. Next time, is it your place or mine?" He smirked.

"How about you go to your place and I'll go to mine?" I countered. He smiled grabbing his jacket, and pulled the door closed behind him.

I felt chills send themselves up my body, my skin tingling. I couldn't explain it, but it was a bad feeling, something I wanted to get rid of, and it started just after Zach left the room.

Before I even start these reviews I want to apologize because I have been in this terrible funky mood and everything has just been blocked. These two chapters had been typed up for the longest I just didn't get around to reformatting them and like a bum I procrastinated it forever smh.

(I've also been having a fosters marathon but shhhhh its top secret no one else knows)

Reviews:

CamrynM05: Thank you for posting that comment. Seriously, those two simple words are the reason I cleaned up my act and put these chapters up. I hope to see you on here more often ;)


	11. Chapter 11

It's was the next day and I was on my way to Zach's house, since he asked me to do a house visit today.

"Who is it?" He asked through the intercom, his breathing ragged.

"The dumbass who managed to get lost even though she was using a GPS." I rolled my eyes as he laughed on the other end. A buzzing sound prompted me to open the door.

I entered a modernist lounge, lots of black and white along with spots of color in some places. I continued up to 3B. It took me all the way up to a penthouse suite, Zach lying on the couch, sweat all over his face. He had his hand on his forehead, one of his legs dangling off the couch as the other lie straight on top of it.

"Oh no." I tied my hair up preparing every method to save someone I've learned since college. He began laughing. "What the hell do you find funny?" I snapped.

"The fact that you think I'm sweating because my symptoms, and not because of the workout I just finished." He pointed to the equipment at my side. I felt my cheeks turning a bright shade of crimson.

"I just get worried easily, especially with home visits." I started unpacking my stuff. "I've always been like that. Anything can happen at your house, and people won't know."

He flexed his arms. "Don't be scared like that Cammie, I'm a toughie." I started to hook him to the blood pressure wrap.

"I may be small, but move and I will punch you." We both let out a laugh as I started to squeeze. I continued through with the rest of his vitals silently. His temperature was a little high, but nothing worth stressing over.

I was packing up my stuff when Zach chose to talk.

He looked at me through a thick layer of lashes. "Hey, you seem quieter than usual. No witty comments, no funny noises, what's wrong?"

"I'm still in shock from when I found you on the couch."

"Seriously Cam, you're the one who suggested for me to work out, but if you're not comfortable with it-"

"It's not that, just don't worry about it." I dismissed the topic, not wanting him to know what was really stressing me out.

Zach could die.

There could be one day where I wouldn't be there to help him, where I would get there too late. I made a promise to him, to myself, that he would live, and I was starting to worry that wasn't going to happen.

I keep looking at him, thinking of how he put his life in my hands. I felt like a kid playing with a newborn baby, except if I rock too hard and the baby will drop, and die, and that isn't a cute thought.

Zach's voice broke my thoughts. "Get up." He ordered, pulling me to my feet and into the elevator.

"Where are you dragging me?" I whined.

"The gym."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Working out is for the weak!"

"For once, I'm gonna be the doctor. Your condition, stress. Your prescription, a spar session with good old Zach." He continued to pull until we reached a big padded room.

He locked us inside, the light flashing red. We surely weren't getting out any time soon.

"You have you're entire life to be a jerk, can't you take the day off?"

He fixed his gaze at me. "You're stuck in here until you feel better."

"Zach, let me out. I have to be midtown in a little less than an hour."

"My appointment doesn't end for 26 minutes."

"Zach please."

He pushed a bag in front of me. "Punch it."

"What?"

"You heard me, punch it. You're stressed, blow off steam. Imagine that this bag is causing everything that's stressing you out, and release all that energy into your fists." He had his hands on my shoulders as I reluctantly closed my eyes.

I imagined the patients I have to see this week. I imagined Liz complaining about lunch. I imagined Derek. I imagined Zach. Zach could die. Zach could just fall any second, what if I don't catch him? What if he needs a heart transplant? A lot of questions with little answers. The next thing I know I turned around and punched him, hard.

"I'm so-"

"Damn, you got a punch." He doubled over, producing what was half laugh and half cry."

I looked down. "I think we should go back so I can grab my things."

"Not until you feel better." He groaned.

"After the hit you took, only way I'll feel better is if you go upstairs." And now it was my turn to pull his arm. I dragged him back upstairs helping him onto his couch, then I picked up my bag, getting ready to leave and rushed to the hospital. When I arrived, the patient was already there.

"Well about time." The mother muttered. "Doctors like you shouldn't keep patients like my daughter waiting." Doctors like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I started examining the patients skin condition. "I honestly apologize for the wait." They had psoriasis.

"Okay, I'm gonna get you a couple creams for that and you should be good to go."

"Don't prescribe her dermavate, it doesn't work for her."

I wasn't going to prescribe her that." I rolled my eyes and continued writing.

I looked up from my notepad. "There are a couple of oral solutions she'll need to take, would you prefer syrup or pills?"

"Pills." The girl said.

"Syrup." The mother countered.

The girl crossed her arms. "Get syrup and I guarantee you I won't drink it."

"You'll drink it even if I have to shove it down your throat." The mom said through gritted teeth.

The girl shot me a pleading look, and I chose pills over syrup. Knowing that type of mom she'll probably blame the pharmacist anyways.

I handed the prescription to the mother and walked out, slightly aggravated. This was the average day at the hospital. It wasn't always nice mothers and obedient children. Every once in a while you get the bratty kid, or worse, the snobby mom. I just hoped that this day would be over soon.

It was late that afternoon and I was on the phone with Derek.

I was practicing a new recipe for chili, because takeout is making me bloated and it costs serious cash.

Plus, this was Abby's last dinner home.

"Cammie stop stirring it." He warned from the phone.

I huffed. "Derek, the ground beef isn't separating!"

"You should've called me before you thought that you could be Gordon Ramsey." He chuckled. "Just cover it and leave it on low heat."

I put the lid back on the pot. "How does that solve the problem of the beef not separating?"

"Trust me, it's just like spaghetti sauce." I eyed him skeptically. He threw his arms up. "I'm half-Italian, if there's anything I know, it's pasta."

"Joe will complain if the beef isn't separated, and I will blame you." I pointed my finger at him.

He rolled his eyes. "It'll be fine."

I set the phone on the counter. "Yeah totally, it's Abby's last dinner before she leaves, excuse me for trying to make sure I don't poison her." I lifted the spoon in front of the camera. "Does this pasta look al-dente?"

"I don't know, I'm not there. Just squish it." I put it between my thumbs.

"Yup, I should leave it there a little longer. It's just as hard as when I put it in."

"Did you put enough water in the pot?"

"diD yOu PuT eNoUgh WaTEr In tHe pOt?" I mocked annoyed.

"Fine," he brought his hand to his chest. "I'll just stare at you adoringly so my ego doesn't have to take any more hits."

The doorbell rang.

I tucked the strand of hair hanging from my bun behind my ear. "How do I look?"

"Like you spent entirely too long on that bun, go answer the door." I began walking away. "Take me with you!" I ran back to pick up my phone before opening the door.

"Oooh Cammie the hallway smells like food, you warming takeout?" Joe said.

"Nope, I've been cooking." I wiped my hands on my apron.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You, and a pot, and a stove? Haha peace out."

"Joe, I've been watching her I promise." Derek called from the phone.

He rolled his eyes and sat down. "I'm just saying, she burned water before and I didn't even know that was possible, haven't trusted her since. She has her mother's cooking skills."

Mom hit Joe on the arm. "You talk about my cooking, but you still eat it."

"Nice one Mrs. Morgan!" Derek hooted.

She waved. "Derek how is Canada?"

"Boring, I wish Cammie was here."

Aunt Abby spoke for the first time since she got here. "So you want her all to yourself?"

Derek rushed to defend himself. "No, obviously, I'm just saying I miss her so much-"

"Don't you think her family misses her?"

"Of course! You guys should totally spend time together, I-" he paused. "Have paperwork to sign! Yeah, gotta fill out these forms by to tomorrow." He threw them in front of him. "Love you Cam, bye Joe and Mrs. Morgan!" He hung up.

"Abby, did you really? You just couldn't resist."

She chuckled. "I like that pipsqueak. He's intimidated by me and it makes me feel better about myself." She straightened her button up that she had neatly tucked into her leggings, accompanied by some knee high boots.

My mom was wearing a nice shirt dress that popped against her hair.

Joe, being basic as usual, was wearing flannel that he bought a size too small to show off his "biceps", and khakis.

They sat down as I served plates.

"This beef isn't fully-"

"Yeah yeah, you're not that old Joe, you can chew it." I brushed him off. I can't wait to tell Derek that I was right.

I love being right.

"I think it's delicious squirt. Joseph here doesn't like food that isn't 5 star, and he's too broke for it." Abby jabbed him in the side.

Mom had her hand out. "Pass the cheese and saltines, kiddo."

It reminded me of Wyatt. "When was the last time you guys saw Cecile?"

"Too long. I should go see them, spoil my little bean." She made tickling motions with her fingers.

"Technically mom, he's my little bean."

"I'll go with you too, say bye to the boy before I leave." Abby chimed.

The doorbell rang again, and a puzzled look appeared on all our faces.

I wiped my mouth with a napkin. "Um, it's probably Liz dropping something off."

I was greeted with a smirk. "I brought ice cream."

I looked to the table. "Guys, excuse me for a second." I pushed myself through a small opening in the door. "Hey, you didn't say you were coming."

His eyes were especially bright under the dim lights in the hallway. "I told you I was before I left Monday."

I facepalmed myself. "You're right, it completely slipped my mind."

He gestured to the door. "If you're spending time with your family I can totally come back-"

"No-no! Come on in, I made chili." I said proudly.

He chuckled. "Chunky, liquid food poison, you mean." I hit him in the chest, and opened the door.

"Mom, Abby, Joe, you guys remember Zach?"

Joe stood up. "Zachy-boy!" He grabbed him as they engaged in the most confusing bro-ment I've ever seen.

Seriously, I don't know what they were doing.

"Nice to see you Headmistress Morgan and Ms. Cameron."

Abby chuckled. "It's Rachel and Abby to you Zach, we've known you too long."

"What are you doing in town?" Mom asked. "Last I checked, you have your headquarters in Seattle."

I looked dumbfounded as I said, "How do you even know that?"

My mom simply cocked an eyebrow. "Because he's Gallagher alumni, and he's made countless donations to the trust fund."

"I'm here because I was feeling a little under the weather, Mrs. Morgan, heard that Cammie here was the best of the best." He nudged me in the shoulder.

"Call me Rachel, Zach, I insist."

Joe gestured for Zach to sit next to him. "Don't eat the chili." He whispered.

Zach leaned closer. "It can't be that bad."

"Trust me, it is. It's got too much water, no seasoning, and the beef isn't separated!"

"Joseph!" Mom hissed. "The only thing your mouth should be doing is chewing the food, not critiquing it."

That was the last thing Joe said about my chili.

The rest of dinner went great, I feel like everyone got along with Zach so well. Once Zach brought out the ice cream he was everyone's best friend.

Me and my mom were chilling out in my room, Zach and the others insisted on watching TV, from the amount of times I heard them say 'tea', they were watching the housewives of god knows where.

"So," Mom started. "Zach's been in town for a while?"

I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, a couple weeks."

"Does Derek know he's been over here, spending nights and keeping you company?"

"I didn't really see the point in telling him," I shrugged. "He'll probably be gone before Derek gets back anyways."

She sighed. "No matter what, you've got to be honest with Derek. Secrets ruin everything."

"Yeah mom, I'll tell him. I promise." I was playing with my fingers again. "I just need some time."

She sat in the silence for a minute, stroking my hair. "Do you like him, Cam?"

"Hm?" I murmured.

"Zach? Do you like him?"

"I mean obviously I like him, we've known-"

She bopped my forehead. "You know what I mean Cameron."

"Mom I'm with Derek."

I could see her eyebrow cocked in the moonlight. "You still haven't answered my question."

"No mom. I only have eyes for Derek."

"You can care deeply for someone, but it doesn't make it love."

I felt my eyes watering. She just kept putting so much emphasis on every word, changing the meaning each time. "Mom he means so much to me. I really do love him."

"I should've told you this a long time ago, but there are two ways to love, Cammie. The one where you care so deeply for someone that you believe it's love. Where they mean so much that you would never want to hurt them, never want to see them hurt, even if it's hurting you. It's a love that feels forced and makes you feel trapped, tied down. Then there's the other type, the purest form of love. It's where you're so happy you can't describe why, but you always wanna be around that person. Love where the simple thought of that person makes you smile. It's everything and nothing at the same time and it feels euphoric." She looked me in the eyes, a look so sincere and pure. "You're so young, I just don't want you to make the mistake of settling for the wrong love."

I was crying now, my tears were dropping onto my moms legs. And I couldn't help it, because I barely understand why I was crying.

"Cammie, all your father and I wanted for you was the best when we brought you in this world. We wanted you to be happy, and even though your father couldn't live to see you fulfill that happiness, I'm here." She continued stroking my hair. "I'm here."


	12. Chapter 12

I had changed into something a little more comfortable after my mom had left.

I had also been in my room for an hour since she left, in an attempt to stop these tears from falling.

What my mom said had many hidden meanings. A love where I'd never want to see that person hurt. Did she mean Zach, or Derek?

That sounds cryptic, so here's an explanation.

Zach wants to know why seeing him at his house earlier scared me. To be honest I've been avoiding him since it happened.

Anything can happen at your house, and people won't know. I said that to him.

That's almost how my dad died.

That's how Derek almost died.

It's crazy how those sentences look the same, but have entirely different meanings. Two separate stories, with the same setting, same plot, and damn near the same ending.

But Derek's story isn't mine to tell, especially not to Zach. Maybe one day, but for now, the wound is still too fresh.

She also said not to make the mistake of settling for the wrong love.

Settling.

Was I settling?

Was I just 'putting up' with Derek?

Sometimes, it felt like that. Sometimes it felt like I was dealing with a man that has Wyatt's brain (and that's offensive to Wyatt, because he's an up and coming gentleman). Sometimes I feel like I have to hold his hand, stop him from getting too many cookies from the jar.

But then, he leaves. And when he goes on his trips, he's so sweet, so gentle, an adoring boyfriend.

And as soon as he's back, it's like the man I fell for never even existed. All traces of him wiped. It's almost as if I had just imagined him.

"Cam?" Zach knocked at the door. I wiped my eyes and put on my glasses so he wouldn't see the puffiness under my eyes. I don't think I can deal with him pitying me.

"Come in."

He peeped through the door. "You okay?"

"Mmhm." I looked up from my phone.

"Just haven't heard from you since dinner." He began to walk in. "Thought that I should check up on you."

"I'm fine, I'm just gonna miss Abby is all."

He sat on the ottoman at the foot of my bed. "I'm sure she'll miss you too, but she won't be gone long."

"Yeah I know."

"Is that why you've been crying?"

Damn. Why did Zach have to be so fucking observant?

"Me? I haven't been crying, my allergies are just flaring up. Honestly Zach I'm fine."

"Nice try, but I remember you used to do this in college. After you cried, you'd wear your glasses so no one could see the puffiness under your eyes."

"Fine you caught me." I threw my hands up. "But don't judge me, crying solves my problems."

He chuckled. "No it doesn't. Now tell me what's wrong."

"I told you, I miss Abby." I shrugged.

He rolled his eyes, like he knew I was lying on the spot. "Fine, if you won't tell me, maybe your mom or Joe will."

Unwillingly, I started. "Do you know why I freaked out when you were sprawled across the couch like that?"

"No, because you haven't told-"

"Here goes I guess." I began wringing my hands. "I told you my dad had a heart attack, but that wasn't the full story." I could tell I had his full attention, and it kind of scared me into silence for a moment. "That afternoon, I noticed my dad wasn't okay. I knew he was closing in on a hard case and hadn't slept in a while. He told me that it was nothing, and I believed him. I went out with Liz, I enjoyed myself." I looked out at the gloomy night sky, trying to find the will to keep going.

Zach put his hand on my foot, "Cam, this sounds really personal, I don't think I should hear the rest-"

"I ignored my mom's frantic phone calls. 'She's probably just nagging about where I put the remote, or when I'll be home.' I said to myself. We weren't on good terms. I had fought with her just days before. I didn't feel like talking to her."

"Cam-"

I was rambling, I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth anymore. "I ignored my mom's constant calling because I was being a bratty teenager. Meanwhile, she was calling to see if I had heard from my dad. She couldn't get a hold of him because he was passed out. My dad almost died in the house, and had she not checked on him, no one would have known." I may have been yelling. I couldn't handle how I was portraying the story anymore. This was years of built up guilt that I had never uttered to anyone coming out for the first time in a decade.

"Cammie, please, I don't need to hear the rest."

"He made it to the hospital because of my mom and Joe being a block away. Because of them, I got to say goodbye. Zach, what if I had been there? What if I could have gotten him to the hospital faster? Zach what if I'm the one who killed my dad?"

"No." He came around the bed and pulled me into a hug. "None of this will ever be your fault. You did not kill your dad, you hear me?"

Through my sobs, I said, "But I did Zach. I should've checked on him and answered my mom-"

"You were young, you can't take on the responsibility of his life at that age."

"I was so reckless Zach! And I promised I wouldn't be reckless with you-"

"Hey, you're not." He lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "I'm fine, better than fine. It's okay."

He rocked me in his arms until I could breathe again without crying. He didn't utter a word, just gave me time to come to terms with everything I just said.

"I'm sorry I unleashed all of that on you-"

"Don't apologize, I'm glad you did. Carrying that was weighing you down."

"Are you saying I was fat before?" I chuckled.

"Now don't put words in my mouth, I'll fight you even though I just watched you cry for the 800th time."

"Wow," I pulled his arms off me. "I see how it is."

He wrapped his arms back around me. "Come back here you brat." I laughed as he pulled me to his chest. "You can trust me, alright? I don't want you walking around and carrying the world on your shoulders when you have me."

I thought of the last hidden meaning behind what my mom said. It's everything and nothing at the same time and it feels euphoric.

So like, this chapter is shitty, but it's a little bonus I thought I'd include. It wasn't planned AT ALL. I typed this in 30 minutes, all because I saw that phrase "Anything can happen at your house, and people won't know." And then I thought of Derek's storyline and bam, I developed a whole new addition to the plot. Read the A/N in the comments for more.

CamrynM05: thank you love! I'm doing my best to pump out these chapters I promise but procrastination is almost as addictive as coffee to me.


End file.
